Thursday, August 13, 2009

wow- biwer-park

awww so tiny

ahhhhhhhh i am weak and RA'd out- i took my methotrexate last nite and it made me soo sick,,i cant describe the feeling it gives..i was a day late to take it so i was weak before taking it,,then it desolved into me and i felt the metho - feeling- it makes me clammy and hot and my stomach hurt -i feel really weak and feel really microwaved,,thats the only way to describe it,,like im in the miocrowave oven,,my insides hurt and feel electric,i dunno... im still queeezy from it /didnt want ot get up today.i hurt and when my feet touched the ground - i almost cried form the sweeling and the pain in my feet.
knees have been hurting for days ,,i cant bend up and down realwell,, its bad on my right side and right shoulder too - cant raise up my arm wihtout pain.
i see i am bleeding real wasy ,,i had a misqitoe bite on the top on my foot,,i was just ithching it when i noticed a wet feeling,,i look down and a river RIVER of blood,,and it wouldnt stop,,then other things OK like,,little scrapes and then i bleeeeeeeeeed and cantstop it, put flour to coagulate it,,like i did formy little finches when i cut the toemnails too short,little presious birds.
i LOVE birds,speaking of birds,,we havcve a nest ofhummingbirdsa nd they are hovering around the flocks and taking nectar from them,,we can sit above the flowers on the porch and watch mom and babies just zip around like crazy,,i thought it was a bumble bee,,thats how small the babys are soooo little tiny- tiny and cute.
nature is the neatest thing -- im still morning for the loss of the old tree they cut down,bastards.....

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