Thursday, July 31, 2008

-this is where i found her when i let her go with the boycats out on the took awhile for me to find her,,i brought her back in and placed her into hr own soft bed...

i am again worn OUT! -OMG kitten star got into something - she fell or we dont know what happened ,,,all i knw is i discovered that she wasnt commingh for food and thought WHA???????????? that's just weird and whats wrong, and sure enuff she was injured,,she had a BAD-limp on hind leg(the leg w/ the gold toe) and she hadnt eaten for I DONT KNOW HOW LONG i went into "full protecton mother mode" and well,,HAPPY as all to say she is BETTER toady =

i had to sleep with her - or beside the big kennel to keep close by-,,force feed her,, place her into litter box and when done cover it for her,,she watched everything i did,,she looked at me with such a sick and hurtfull feeling i broke down and had to just go vcry ,,i then PRAYRED for my lordjesus tohelp and save and heal her and protect her --and praise GOD ..this morning she came out of the kennel on her own and WAS JUST SITTING IN THE DOORWAY LIKE -HELLO KELLY AND DEBI,,WHAT CAN I EAT?,,we just adore her and love her and she is sooo in my heart now,,god we LOVE HER!

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

im super tired today,,i had so much going on thru last weekend that i am now worn out and unable to really keep up[, i have to lay down every 30 minuets to regain strenght to go on,,no biggy tho,,im not complaining,,im just saying,,,,

i found this CUTE lilpic of my nephew stevie HES SO DAMN CUTE HERE = i LOVE this picture,,it always makes me smile from ear to ear
know what i mean? C-U-T-E!!!

Monday, July 28, 2008

Arthritis-related problems include pain, stiffness, inflammation and damage to joint cartilage and surrounding structures. It can lead to physical deformities and interfere with most basic tasks, including driving, walking and even food preparation.--yep. true that-

Sunday, July 27, 2008

its SUNDAY morn about 5.40 am- i awoke to a sound of something falling into water,,then after i came to my senses,,i realized it was star baby falling into the OPEN toilet,,LOL! PLUNK is all i heard,,i could not find her to wash her off,but that's so funni cuz we always shut the toilet cover but last nite,,i was wiped out and Kelly too (shes been O.T.-ing to the max)
~this lil kittten sure feeds my soul~Im glad we have her,even tho she hard to keep up with -but shes learning quickly and she reminds me of Elvis when he was little,,she "cat's" JUST like him,,,she's smart smart smart-and sassy!
how could anyone not love this lil'jewel

Saturday, July 26, 2008

im SO EXCITED look whats on TV tonite,,,wow!(i believe they are among us -from the start of the ANNUNAKI&SUMERIAN (((GREAT WEBSITE: Crystalinks)))

Nephilm also known as Draconian reptilians have a negative agenda for humanity

i had to clean up that last post//go thru all my type-o's &dislexia-good 4 u Gloria- cant belive u were able to make any sense outta all thise mistakes-thanx for the email too!!the tooth is a BIG issue,,i saved this "wax stuff" from last time i had a issue with a tooth and this seems to be OK until i can get somewhere whith this - its the weekend and i had so many plans,,i had tony over yesterday -he is so effing sweet,,i swear to god hes such a a good person,,,he saved our ass by comming over here and looking at the buick,,its been running weird and we r scared to drive further then "walkin-distance".."it may break down at any second" i told him, So,,he comes straight over and takes the buick over to his house and fixes it then washed the engine that its so clean it looks NEW - he showed me everything he did, and i had to film it cuz i never can rememeber anything about cars and engines,,its all to boaring for me,but hes GIFTED and loves to mess with engines and wires - hell,, hes a grad from SPARTAN school of areonatics and hes been at the same job for like,,OMG twenty years maybe?? timeflys ..anyHOO he saved OUR BUTTS and we owe him,, dinner and beerr on sunday /Im going over to see mary and he wants to look at the spark plugs(his advise)sounds great cuz i miss my lil sistA sooo much! shes having a hard tiomne too ( tony said shes depressed also)shes so much like me,,we r almost twins, everyone always asked my mom if we were twins.
im"rambeling-on" OOhh-led zeppelin-great BAND-its a saturday morn,,i took a few pics of my tooth issue lets see how it looks on film ....

this is debi maddox calling ,please pick up,,damn,no one ever answrs the alien/UFO hotline....

Friday, July 25, 2008

its 6.00 now (AM that is) i do best in the mornings,i sit awhile then slowly launch into fast gear with my mind on 100 things i must do NOW so,,i wear myself out,, and wonder why im always in a flare,,i have felt better tho,,lately has not been super painful,, my meds all help alot and you learn how valuable they are when you DO NOT HAVE THEM!!!
OMG at about 4.00pm yesterday my tooth feel out - my tooth thats up front-,,i have a pic(embaressed to go anywhere now) i gotta find out why my optionos are i just want the tooth bonded back to look normal,,no crown,,fuck that shit,whos got athousdand dollars for that? if i had a grand id buy kelly a pair of sunglasses (she needs them so badly) and id buy me some make up and a haircut before a fuckiing thousand dolllar tooth went into my mouth,,
OK next on the blog-list is:
depression..can we talk? i have had no counceling for a LONG TIME i do have an appt comming up with a new shrink at family and children services -i need a session bad!!
i should create a bullit point list of a few things that i belive are at the bottom of my troubles..example' #1) CANT ASK FOR HELP - FIND IT REAL HARD TO ASK ANYONE FOR ANYTHING - ITS LIKE IM GONNA GET YELLED AT FOR ASKING,,-MUST BE A STAIN FROM CHILDHOOD AND MOM-ug!
kelly JUST woke UP,,gottago now to help her out

Thursday, July 17, 2008

ive NOTICED a change,,its because i got my KLONIPIN BACK,,i have NOT abused it,,i took small quarters from a .05 ml. and felt the effects,,i am so soothed and feel 100percent in control&BETTER!!which is all i effing wanted-hate it when the doctors stand in yer way of feeling better,it seems so ass backwards,,doesnt it,,maybe its cuz im DISLEXIC and it just seems that way to me,,dunno,,what is realaity,,im stoned, i mean stumped,,Freudian slip hehee
MOVIE i MUST SEE = "a man who laughs" -1926-era,,looks incredible...

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Saturday, July 12, 2008

im upset this mornig-stressed to the MAX-this blogging is a waste of time,, does nothing for me or anyone else,,i swear,,i want to write certan things and cant,so why fucking bother,,forget it - and guess who feels like a worhtles- dislexic a-d-d and good for nothing- twisted up - painful -and never will be-
i stil have the pit (of doom) in my stomach
i recall that feeling from thwe past = and it when i discovered i was being lied to and cheated on by a 7 YEAR relationship- but i didnt realize that who i though loved me was lieing the whole time and had a girlfriend on the side for a LONG tmie,i left that relatonship after i found that out,,it made me sick ,,very sick,,i fell apart too,,
i feel like that this same feeling now thats all i can say

Thursday, July 10, 2008

me and kelly are goig thru hell right now - we r very very stressed out over money and do ot know where money will come from, but we just have to have some,,we r starving to death and have no treatment for allergies OR my RA and insanity,SO basicly we r just living day to day - and trying to act like its all OK - hopefuly it will be,,it always has been in the past,,why would things just get worse while we try to keep up attitudes and apperances,,i am scared to death about the RA and its really shapeshifting my bones which is painfuly disapointing,,i keep thinkin im gonna get blessed w a healing from jesus - its just not my time yet i guess,,ive been mentaly struggling w/my depression, i try to make it go away but i have a deep-deep pit in my gut- im totaly afraid of seeing anybody-and i feel weird as hell,and like a effing misfit- i have felt this feeling before in my past i am blocking out what its connected to,,i cant recall anything-BUT i recognize this feeling BIGtime-WTF?
Codex Alimentarius WARNING it starts december 31 2009
~The Codex Alimentarius is a threat to the freedom of people........
~The Codex Almentarius is a global cartel designed to hand over the control of natural remedies to the pharmaceutical giants.............................
this is part of the mess that is preventing me from getting medical help 4 rheumatiod THEY do not want me to buy a herb to help,,OHNO,,no money for BIG companies in herbs,,they cannot controll the herbs........
(anyone with a disease is going to be isolated and stomped out in the future-mark my words)
this has been going on for sometime,,if anyone doesnt know about this,,they should google this b/c its going to ruin our country and the lives as it is starting to happen already,,
The middle class will be deleted and only the rich(few) and POOR(all others)
will be left and the poor is all they want...WHY.. their money$$$ and labor will be for the rich ,,sort of like servants ,,like in the old days of history - the Illuminati wants to rule and we are all slaves only become more of a slave in the future under the police state we are seeing being implemented right NOW folks RIGHT NOW! i swear i think its all coming down to a crash! scary shit!

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

this is so effing cute it hurts,,,stop being so cute star-babyayeaye~im tryig this out its TECHnorati AND im going to install it to my blog now.
Technorati Profile

ive been having RA severly i my spine again,,it hurts pretty bad and if im not under the influence of DARVON
- then im just to in pain to even think straight....
my neck my feet and elbows(OHsoeffingBAD)
and hands (now its my pinkeys on both hands) ufff, Im hurting badly ever time i walk or actully move about god these arms of mine,,the elbows are not stopping on the pain and they have sever nodels popping up,,i swear they HURT or is it just my elbows really hurting andf fooling me to thinnkits nodules,i SWEAR its the Nodules cuz i feel pain where thety are on the back of my elbows area PIC of my effing elbows (which id like to cut off my arms at the elbows to be done with it)
ALSO my hands and feet kep waking me uP from sleep,i ned to itch them and they burn,,i sapose this is the Neuropathy that Dr Kusi said i have,,yep

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

hi there,
i have ra,
not like the sun-god but ra, like the life stealer....didYaknow?

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

been awhile,,,and thats because ive really been too sick and tired to do any thing online - my computer(ankhanaten) has been booted down for days and days and i didnt care,,i knew i was not doing good when computer doesnt sound good to me...somethings wrong for shure!
we hung out with tina for a few nights before she takes off to Houston, texas for a little while,,they are leaving tomorrow -thursday july 3rd and we miss them dealrly already - gonna miss having them right around the corner. houston is where the money is and thats why they r moving ...i figure it wont last long ,,,everyone who leaves Tulsa always ends up BACK HERE - Tulsa is a magnet for some reason. Ive tried to leave many times and only ended up right back here every time.

About the RA- OMG . my Nodules are so bad around my elbows- they hurt badly-