saturday afternoon,,pleasant weather and i'm good for "nothing" and all im all emotional,,well,,we..me and kelly just got back from going to get kellys hair cut,,its SO CUTE,we found a new place to go,that some of the girls from work go to,,and they all have cute hair-sooooo kelly's hair is adorable-
i am not feeling good, im going to lay down now -i hurt real bad.
we both agree that the seriquil is not really doing me good,,i mean my face looks bloated again - my prednisone seems to have a conflict with this seriquil,,i can say its been great for sleep,,but damn,,i remember the NERUOTIN did the same thing too, puffy face, and slept all day ,,no ability to get going - AND seems to me that- my neck has been inflammed from the strt of the seriquil,,now it coud be a coinencedence but,,i think im scred opf the seriquil now,,damn, i always think its goning to get the ticket,,,but then have bad effects from all drugs,,im so sensitive to it,i guesss,>?
puffy face ad lathargy are the big things,,i acnt wke up at lland ioi dont wnna do aything either..why not,>? the weather is great,i hve so many ideas,,im scared - i htnk thats my problem,and i dont know wht to do,,my fingers hurt so bad right now to type i'm using only two-2 fingers to get it done ...10-4-over...come back....
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Can Rheumatoid arthritis cause depression?
In: Health
A:
Any chronic condition, especially painful ones, can increase your likelihood of becoming depressed. Conversely, depression may make many conditions worse. Treatment of both usually yields better effects than treating only one or the other.
ok then......just wondering...

its 1.30..i have YOGA at the center for disailitys at 2.30..ive staed low key so i can make it,,ive dusted the house, vaccumed a little,,and straightened out kellys closet,, all aesy stuff,, BUT im im so in painwith my neck still,,,what am i gonna do,,i thought this would be over by now,,im going n 3 weeks of serouis neck pain ,,i found out a bit today about another medical place i can go and probably get better attention then the morton deal,,(i never wanna go back there just gives me such a negitive feeelig . bad karma there for some reason) .....so this eve - tuesday ee at 5.00p i can go stand in line wihtthe rest of um and se what happens,,ifi do not or cannot do it,,from The RA,,then i HAVE to do it o thrusday nite,,5.00pm,,and go getinline,at some place i o have the addy,,i want to google thisplace first,,i alsoNEED to go back to the medical arts building where i went for mental help and recieved a "case worker",,(yeah-a good thing) im almost outta that seriquil so iguess i just go at 8.30 and stand in line there too,,woow,,what a different world,,from insured to uninsured,,, its reallllly hard when u do not have insurance or any money......its real hard. i donit thnk i can do yoga,,myneck,,oh my Aching neck!!!!!!!!!!!also neupathy has really been noticable too,,feet and hands running down my legs and arms,,so so weird,,,,i am to tired now,,must rest.. zzzzzz
heres the place fr medical help
http://tulsa.ou.edu/medicine/bedlam/index.htm

ive been having RA severly i my spine again,,it hurts pretty bad and if im not under the influence of DARVON
- then im just to in pain to even think straight....
my neck my feet and elbows(OHsoeffingBAD)
and hands (now its my pinkeys on both hands) ufff, Im hurting badly ever time i walk or actully move about god these arms of mine,,the elbows are not stopping on the pain and they have sever nodels popping up,,i swear they HURT or is it just my elbows really hurting andf fooling me to thinnkits nodules,i SWEAR its the Nodules cuz i feel pain where thety are on the back of my elbows area PIC of my effing elbows (which id like to cut off my arms at the elbows to be done with it)
ALSO my hands and feet kep waking me uP from sleep,i ned to itch them and they burn,,i sapose this is the Neuropathy that Dr Kusi said i have,,yep

every doctor has said "its the prednisone "/this doesnt even LOOK LIKE ME/ why did it start 2 weks after Neurotin then eh? they refuse to listen,they all say it is prednisone storeing it self up and causig the pufffyness - OK explain the red flushness of my upper then? ahh no reason for that???,,OK then what about the costo,,
ive had it from march 1st,WHY? Oh no answer again,,,,wow,,we r getting nowwhere fast,,shoulda just fucking stayed HOME -how fustrating when at first a doctor acts like hes gonna help ya,then he acts like he doesnt know you from fucking adam,,he actully asked if i had insurance,heknows i do not have insurance why did he do that,,i flagged that comment,,it came at about the end of thedeal when he wanted to wrap up things,he basicly said go seee mckay then come back hre,,se what they say- like i can afford that,,he doesnt want me there,,thats why,, HE didnt do that befor hussien doctor, now he thinks im more trouble??? i cnat go back there,, im so embarressed -
omg it was somethng i felt by him distancing himself and what to do about anything at all waass liike differnet and no support,,he threw me under the bus so to speak -he was vauge and im really sad now- hers how i just woke up alittle bit ago=
its in the middle of the nite. i could not sleep again,i awoke to bad thought of MORTON,(i went there today)- in my dream they are all laughing at me and sayingthings like school children would tease a kid,,weird, then Dr KUSI patronized me and tht was it,,it musta really upset me cuz i woke up with a damn tear and had to spring outta bed on soe RA'd out feet,,these past 2 days have had me emotionally wrecked and im still under the spell of the morton burn as i swear to GOD that DR kusi blew me off today, or aleast he didnt seem to be his supportive self,he didnt agree with theneurotin side effects i have EVERY side effect including the constpation -facial edima,-i learned that means swelling- the doctors all say its the prednisone-i say "i disagree" because i have been on a much higher doese and never have i been this big,, it all started around the neurotin 2 weeks into it- HEY it helped alot at first,,i was sold on it completly- i was OK by talking it,,BUT things grew worst and i missed a dose and felt better after missing that does swelling went down too- so i KNIOW then neurtion is not doing me any good, i was falling down, confussed , seeing things outta my prorifial vision and skin-delicacy is worst then ever,,, flush- face and "temple and top of my headache" consistanly, VISION POOR as hell too, god the list goes on
COSTOCONGITUS started to worrie me tho,it wont go away,

march 1st and sent me to morton (saw JUJU) no help, but bloodtests were done ad i NEVER heard a THING about them,,tho we sure n hell had to pay out the ass for them,,-

Next i schedule an appt w/only dr Kusi- went -no dr KUSI saw the "islamic" doctor-hussien? or whaTever , -he blew me away - SUPER patronizing & said he cannot help me,,im in need of a rheumotoigist and DUH!? LIKE WEONT already know that - we were so disapointed and left with a bad feeling ~
It set off a chain of events that just sent me into a complete meltdown -it was the end of outr line and now thats gone, ruiened by patronizing doctors who dont know anything else but DIABETIC and depression patients- - god if you arent in the "mold" they dont wanna mess w/ you ---i dont think dr kusi wants to see me there like he did before,,i think that DR. huussen ruiend it for me-he put something in my chart/ folder b/c DR . Kusi left for long time and looked over my chart-he seemed patronizing when he came back- he seeemed diffferent - i cant pin it- i didnt think then at the time - i was very cooperative and OK to talk and had all my dates with me, ,,i think it in retrospect,,looking back,i see that when he left ,,then came back -
POST from middle of then nite=
dr kusi acted weird to me today, and thats why i cant sleep and WHY im here right now 2.20 am-typing away ,,as myheart pounds right outta my chest from fear of not knowing what or where im gonna go from here,,but im not with a good feeling on this,,Gulp!.