no one wants to hear about our litany of problems ...we have noone forsupport or advise NO ONE! were on our own ..we seee others with help,,new cars and friends and whatever they want,,we cant even get what we NEED much less any wants,, wants are NEVER needs are a struggle ..WHY WHY WHY?
my knuckles are all swelling UP right NOW /im takuing pics to show
how it works ..so ppl with out RA can see that stress is not a good thing for anyone w/ RA
i wear cut off socks to protect my skin on arms
me now----hurting and suffering
fri again,,its jUST NOT MENT for me to be happy,, there must be a curse placed upon me,,why is this happening to me? i feel like ive done my share of suffering and why am i still having issues with everything in my life....
foodstamps are getting canceled because they have requested a letter from health care provider and it must state i have RA and it effects my ability to work,,,they wont do it,,at Morton - even kelly tried,,tt a patient advocate and got the BIG run-around again......
i have been going there every month to clear up thier mistakes since january 07..and i just told kelly im NEVER going back there /////my hands hurt,,here comes a flair from hell,,myneck already hurts, and now its gonna be hell to pay fro this im shure --- ims so effing dislexic and cant type with out tpain in my fingers,, im so upset - im IM so sick now,,The ra monster i8s here bad,, and it hurts so bad-- SO BHAD -i have never ever ever been so sick and so put off by doctors,,they just dont care,,and its terrible, depressing,,no wonder IM EFFING DEPRESSED! as i cannot stop cryingNOW because f the way im treated,,it effects my RA
---u may say why is she typing then,why if it hurts,,i TOOK 2 More darvon, and itsstarting to kickin,,, whew,,i feel ightheaded and very upset,but more under control - but this is my theapy,,to write,,and i do it cuz i guess it helps me spell it allout,,it helps to write about it -
its all ive got,, to write,,,about it all - i wish RA never was for anyone, i cannot believe we humans have to suffer like this,,its crule and i see no reason for me to suffer,,but i AM ai deserve t o KNOW WHY! WHY????????????????? BTW thispost tok over an hour totype,,,, im not ficxingall mistakes,,just tooo much to go back,,i fixed some,,but not all the dislexic - im so disapointed im MYSElf ,,so very disapointed,,
we = me and kell werre JUST on the phone,,we are BOTH YUPSET,,WE ARE GOING TMOVE INTO A SMAL;LL APT FOR NOW,,LEAVING ALL THIS BEHIND the house and equity and alllof it,,wecant do it,,its putting this house in front of my health,, and we need to UNFORTUNATLY put my health should be the priority ,,im getting worse and i need a rheumatoligst - why dont i get to go to a rheumatolist? becase they cost money and we cant affrd even FOOD or anything much less another month of mortage,,we r going to abandon this house,and look for a small apt for cheap and LEAVE OKLAHOMA because there is NO HELP HERE weve tried and tried and tried,, we have suffered we have sacrificed and we have done everything 2 girls can do to keep it all going,,but we r both sufferig and cannot do this again anymoer,, its ALL commming to an end now,,,im scared 2 death too,,,, /// think we should move to Puerto Rico asapthis is what RA does to ppl,,it drives thenm crazy and lifes really hard with it ...
elvis is worried about me,,,i justtold him that i love him andno matte what,,,hes my baby and nothing can change that-hes puuuuurrring now,i saw the look in his eyes,,he was worried - i have to pretendits OK for him,,,to comfort him,,i dont want him to worrie