Monday, July 31, 2006

these are some messed up bones now.......
today i woke up in time to beat the pain again, Problem with that is by 3.00 pm im exhausted,, like i mowed 5 yards - or built a house , i am soooo tired i can barely keep my eyes open,
these are photos from todat and more can b seen at

i took alot of photos of my hands and feet today. the swelling has decreased because i took it easy," real easy " yesterday,, so i feel half normal today, EXCEPT that i still have that pain in my right hip,, its persistant and deep and only way to forget it is to take pain meds,, (which i think is making me soosleepy)
sorry for all the dislexia ...mybackwards words,,bad habbit,,i cant contoll and i just let it happen ,, ive edited alot on these blogs,,because im usualy soo tierd when writting these,,then after rest,,i see all my dislexia backwards spelling, (ive always done tht- i handwrite like that too) examples are for =fro
with -wiht
and others,,

Sunday, July 30, 2006

sunday, woke up at 5.00 am, like the old.days,Meaning i never can wake up that early anymore---- i USED to get up @ 5 naturally-
I noticed the tingling in my hands and feet,BUT this is BEFORE it all goes off, its JuST starting... so i took pain meds NOW and stayed up to see if it went into pain or was stopped by pain meds,,result= awsome i beat the pain by taking meds at 4.45 -5.00 am / i KNOW the pac-mans munching away on my knuckles usually starts at 5.00 am,and it comes up with a vengence,, no creeping in,,just a Bam! pain galore-
unbearible- so i go down from that point, it takes about all day to recover from the fight to wait for medicine to kick in, by god,i dont know what id do w/o prednisone,(bad, bad drug) but its what is holding back the flare BUT i need more, Doctor sd NO! we should not have even began the predisone BUT now im dependent and its gonna take a long time to get off it, this DRUG makes me crazy , i cry and feel like everyones out to get me,, im paronoid way way beyond whats normal, and i drive everyone crazy wiith moodyness and scared of everyting, shit, it messes me up bad- i DONT recommend to take pred if ever given the choice.

Saturday, July 29, 2006

woke up satuday morning (29th of july) and realized,, REALLY dont feel anybetter then when i went to sleeplast nite, looks like i did not move either, same position i fell asleep in Last nite i had the most unbearable pain in my right hip, knee and ankle and all the regular stuff,but my hip is bad, I realized this morning AT 8.00am -THATS WHEN I OPENED MY EYES TO A BEAUTIFUL NEW DAY,
only to find myslf in bad shape, i hobbled back here, to the computer room ,to take my pills -i took the whole group in one shot/ swallow .. but it backed up and i had that "HARD TO swallow again,thingy " thought i was gonna choke- loose my pills, but i saved it,, i got thru it,then found my self waiting for them to kick in,, on the floor in pain ,crying, for 20- 30 minuets ,, (quietly so noone would come to worrie or ask to help me, because theres nothing noone can do,and my kelly gets stressed -cuz she cant help me) it makes her cry,then its just a "cry fest",, crazy libras

**** 11.21 NOW , i feel the pain, but its" hidden" under my other pain meds (un-named pills) and (no name allowed PILLS),, those pills wrk tho ,i need to figure out how to wake up" NOT in pain"

Friday, July 28, 2006
the pictures of ra *plus random

I just sat here for over

ONE-one fricken hour
HIP/wrist pain just to blog -when i cant even stand the name "blog"- "blog"-ick who started calling it that, how dumb/i just got it ready to publish- and bam! something went way wrong,, i lost it! everything -OMG -all i typed ,, even my little story of how i remember my great-grandma in her garden ,, wait,wait wait.. forget this,, im just gonna try to remember what the fuck i typed then redo it,, im trying to take a deep breath,relax here and get rid of any anger,,ok,,, go for it,, ---------------- deep breath ------ its hard to forgive this website for loosing my whole page of typing, but ,, it really... was my own hyper-active fault- i did not read what the thing said..i clicked OK ,and it was all gone,,shit-i wanted to just start bitchen here, but now im laughin-
today is friday, its actully 8.30 pm,,my cat elvis and i are here at the computer and i wanted to take time to log some stuff
today was very very steamy and hot,- i went out side for about 10 minuets- and was sweatng abnormally - so, i went inside,, but i did move one chunk of monkeygrass over to where i wanted it- i took my methotrexate shot today, the dose is now .5cc as per Dr Mckay/ they have also bumped up my remcaide appt. to the 10th of next month august/ instead of the end of august/ they want me every 4 weeks ,not 8 wks - as protocol would have me,,but im stuck in a flare- and it wont let me go. So we have to be hardcore fight back .
The reason im in this state NOW is due to a fight with my kidneys or liver,cant remeber,
but i became " acidic" ? ,,
they said that i have to stop all my metho and remcaide untill blood test came back OK,,
and that took awhile,,
its been about 3 months of this,, i almost was stable until i went acidic,, but they said that just happens,,its why they take my blood every time - so,OK im learning,
anyhow,my hands are going crooked and my wrists are twisted up - and i predict they will be the first to go,,whatever that means,
my wrists are soo delicate,they hurt so bad- (reminds me of the prednisone has weakened me, ive chipped 2 teeth within a 2 month period and my crown fell off too, so that shit- medicine is messing with me, and there is nothing i can do,, (wont even go on about how my hair is falling out by the hand full)
well, lets nutshell,im tired,
i will recall my great grandmas story again - before i LOST ALL my words on that last effort here, i thought of her because i posted the picture of me in upper left in the front yard about 2 weeks ago,, i was happy because i was outside in the garden, an i planted a flower, and i was very happy about that! i love dirt, love to garden, i love to plant - and i dont care about the DONT DO ANYTHING rule from my doctor,,i have to plant! i inhereted that from my mother , and her mother and her mothers mother ,,my greatgrandma, i loved her -her name was dorothy fink and she, and milo fink, my great grandad ran the post office in a small town in orchard iowa,, hung out with great grandma and grandad alot as a kid, -they had a garden, to the extreme, perfect , as a child i thought it was majik! and so pretty,, but i was afraid of the bumble bees too much to pay attention to the beauty, they were too distracting for me as a kid,,i got stung as a kiddy and was always afaid of anything that buzzzzzes
from that moment on ,,,,,,grrr,,shake shake,ug! ick.
hehehe,,goodnitenow, ifanyone is out there!

Daily extended (by's a focused energy inside of you, and it's growing stronger every day, buoyed by the bright admiration others are showing you. That energy is your subconscious, getting you ready for a big event and prepping you for a wonderful opportunity. Your self-confidence is bursting at the seams right now, but hold it back until the time is right to really strut your stuff. The spotlight is heating up and just about to be pointed in your direction! - wow,im excited,, hollywood's comming? or what?

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

i am feeling better today, then even yesterday, this is the 2nd morning that the pain has not been so unbearable -spelling sux! who cares/ i feel like im on the road to recovery now!
i am JUST starting this post i have NO IDEA how to work this blog,,infact,,i used to tease people for blogging -just the name "blogging "irritates me,, i call it" logging",,less iratating. want to post this then test the editing then get going on transferring all my history-log from myspace " itskellyanddeb" to here......
can i add picture here-> no cant copy/paste,, what about html? try now:

done! easy!

Friday, July 21, 2006

just testing ,,i think i may use this AND 360.Yahoo to log all occurences with this R.A. (and i dont mean RA as in the sun god) / this place seems easy and PICTURES
are important more then ever,,my life in photos basicly ,,i need to add pics off the fly,, myspace wont do it, or i can not remember how i did it my space is changing lately.....................