Thursday, January 18, 2007

its me again, feelin' even better, but with a few things that still wont go away
# 1. my hips = either both or just one side/right or left/no pattern,,hurts to HIGH HEAVEN,,i mean if it was NOT for darvon,,i think i would have killed myself by now from the pain of it all ..
#2. my splits in my skin.,,at my fingertips- they split open like razor cuts and hurt for days,,i keep them with wrapped in neosporin but they still come back over and over,
its JUST THAT IT hurts soooo bad it can cause me to wake up in dead sleep from the pain,,i have to getup -go put medicine on them, then try to go back to bed/sleep...i have NOT been sleeping well,,i am stressed out again because i dont know whats around the next corner,,im droping my insurance for feburary,(cant afford my coverage any more) its impossible to get ahead in this jacked up country,,i swear im defecting to canada ASAP -bow to the queen -hehe

i just saw a TV comercial for HUMIRA (been there done that) they all act like its sooo problem just shoot this stiff that can cause LYMPHOMA and u will be just fine...
pfffft! riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. maybe for some -but f u ask me,,i dont know what hurts worse the RA or that fuckin shot,,it burns and its awfull,,i refuse to take it,, (on it for like 4 months last year w/o any results) i worked my way thru all the meds for ra,, only to end up jobless and crooked,,fucking alittle angst from indoors,,no contact w/people and im just praying for a healing and back to my bubbly self and positive'll come(+ thinking)

Monday, January 15, 2007

thank god for MOZILLA as in firefox browser,,i have NOT been able to access this BLOG in IE
i am having so many issues w/ IE i am now using firefox as a default- and was able to get in using this browser, now that im here = i had such a hardtime logging in that it spoiled the mood! maybe later ............
dont think anyone reads this anyway,,so why even bother wiht this?
i only did this for myself anyways,, a place to log whats going on with ra and how bad it is attacking me,,no mtter what i do,, well,GUESS WHAT feelin alot better,,i have been away from the methotrexate and REMICADE now ,,i was sapposed to go for remicade on the 4th of january,,i skipped it,,i felt creepy for awhile but NOW im feeling less achey- less RA -less tired and -less pain,,i feel like i may be actully healing now,,if so,then THATS GREAT,, but why did i have to quit taking the RA =remicade and methotrexate to get better,,I SWEAR IT WAS MAKING THE DISEASE WORSE, it stirred it up,,hell,,looking back,,i was doing ok and making it UNTILL I WENT TO THE DOCTORS, and they placed me on all that stuff to STOP the ra,,but it only made it worse,,those doctors DO NOT BELIEVE ME,,they dont,,i see it on there faces when i say the remicade and metho was making it worse,, but hey its the TRUTH!

Monday, January 08, 2007

my splits are bad 2day

monday blew by, wk up at 6.00 w/kelly,she was off to wrk,i stayed buzy az a bee.

got to were i could not handle the hip thing so i sat my ass down ona heating pad at 4.00pm,,made easymac for us and we r going to just chill out 2nite,,,

Saturday, January 06, 2007

sat woke up 8.30amish naturally,and felt OK. no real issues today. -i took it easy,
kelly had reached her breaking point for going along at full speed she HAD 2 rest / we both are under a "allergy spell" and with hard headaches from the mild weather?i only had slight aches in HIPS hands and feet today and the weather was dry and cold (54) and sunny. i just "bummed"all day tho,nothing of significance happened OTHER THEN the fact that a UFO was spoted over Ohare airport and in just now hearing of this ..hello,im the aliens number one fan,,where has this story been for the time, why am i just now hearing about this,,OMG this is really BIG stuff,, it almost PROVES now to all the de-bunkers,,that something is really really going on here,,and high time we get the facts ,,how long have they been here,,and who amongst us is breed w/ them or,,you know,,half human half alien,,,,,,hybrids,, we want the truth and its out there,,,,

Friday, January 05, 2007

my hands hurt this morning,,

alarm at 6.0 am -im up, friday morn,,its hard this am,,as usual,but this am seems to be harder for me,,??? RAINY soggy weather again today!!
took forever to walk down-stairs to feed the cats ....then to come back up the stairs was worse- had to get help fom kelly. i have pain in knees and HIPS BAD, and hands keep dropping everything,,i made lunch 4 kelly and dropped everything that i pickedup,(damn these hands)
kelly insists i get back in bed and R-E-S-T so i can be of use tomarrow (saturday at patsys).
i normally hate to rest in bed during the day because if i fall asleep its double hard on me to wake up,,like i said before ..i hate to wake up because i feel the pain the MOST when i just wake up - it is sooo painfull,,i think its because the meds wore off or something,,not sure why it attacks me when im sleeping -- they say thats sapossed to cure ra not intise it,,im confussed about this
ive pretty much had the issues everywhere, like elbows sholders hands wrist knees and fet and HIPS ! the worse thing is my hips,,,they are so bad that i imagine they will need to be checked for whatever they look for to make sure they are not disintergrating on me,,feels like they are...
im gonna go rest now,, this typing is done with threee fingers,im getting pretty good now at typin w/3 fingers

Thursday, January 04, 2007

today=thursday,foundit TOO hard to wake up at 6.00 this am/ kelly had already been up and had coffee going,i forced myself up took my meds,,(10 ml. pred. 1 oxy 10ml. and folic acid and calcium- and helped her off to work then i sat for a while,,here at this computer to change out myspace and that took foreva! i can NEVER make up my mind on layout --nothin' is eva good enuff.....settled on *whateva.

im having a hard time ever since yesterday,,i moved that BIG rug (rolled) into the kitchen and spred it out there to be cleaned,,well,,i thought,HEY this looks OK on the floor here... so i'll just slide it under the oven here,,and the refridge too ,,no biggy,,well,ok,,i did that,,,, and now my lower is so beyond pain,,i mean im gonna have to load up on painpills today ,,i cant sit for tooo long in one hips are in the worst ive seeen them,,i mean really,,

its rainy and high humidity today and not too cold,,high 58 -i can not take "THECOLD"( i get way to cold- way to easy!)i made yesterday a 12 hour day thats all i could do,,* shawney came by wiith her 2 lil babys ,,we took pictures,,she stayed awhile we laughed at the pictures and the cutre kids,,then she went home - we ate dinner i went to bed feeling the pain in my hips,,BAD PAIN(slept on heat-pad allnite long)

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

this is us at newyears- i have a cold and feel creepy,, we slept to get better all day only to wake up w/ a slight fever and only thing that would make me feel better was alka selzer cold nitetime formula,, i took pics at midnight..i woke up to fire works going off in our neighborhood,,i took pictures of all of us and kelly remained passed out while i took lots a pics,,heheheee they all turned out like this one,,absolutly worthless,,i mean cuttoff heads and i look awfull (right ckick-delete)
whew now its 2007 as we get closer to 2012....a new begining....

hi people,,i figured out something

its like this....

i can only go for 12 hours then im helpless.i can move about and clean house and take care of the cats and make dinner for us,, after that im swollen and tired and cant do anymore,,so 12 hour days are truely a rip off,,now my job is to find out how to make it longer then 10-12 hour days...