Tuesday, June 30, 2009

i think this computer is safe again .. that virus on my other drive in a innocent file called leaktest.exe,,,a installer file,,i have NO idea how it got there - it was a bitch to clean,bla bla bla,
i wanted to log the fact that michael jackson's death hit me hard , it makes me think about death and the reality of it,, ,,,michael was 3 ? yrs older and again, a new shocking death is billy maze dead at 50.. i have to live each day thinking its my last,,in otherwords,, stay positive be helpful,,be kind be honest with myself and others,,be gracious,,humble,,and like nicole kidman said in the movie,,"to die for" (great film)
she says if everyone acted like they were on TV all the time,then everyone would be alot nicer , TV makes you a better person.. i thought about that and ah shes right

Monday, June 29, 2009

my computer had a bad bad bad virus,,i only now have regained the machine back,i was fighting the need to reformat again!
i had just reformatted days ago,,from a virus Koobfa-Gen virus from facebook,, and got it taken care of but seems i had more to fight i had to wipe out all info and all downloaded messages are all gone,,,,life on the internet has its price.
im oredered out to 41st and yale, dr says "get your bloodwrk done" i cant cuz the car is broken down right now ~ my RA is bothersome - i mean i still have bad feet,neck and its very hard to walk without pain, my jaw hurts too,i cant yawn or open my mouth up too much, my hands and elbows are achy - we have hot weather and i feel oppressed by the air. Kellys wrking a 4 day week and has been doing better,,as far as depression and everything. the car is brroken,,we have to take it to bills again,,damn damn damn..its all so stressful and i feel super weird,,like sureal,,and detached from reality,i see vibrations in my peripheral vision, everything is wavy,or vibrating.
i have been having the weirdest physical pain in all of my muscles - it feels achy and hurtful / like i need to strech out .. i feel bruised in a way, but im not brused.

Friday, June 26, 2009

im here by kellys computer,, mine has a bad bad virus and i dont want to spread it,,i see it came from facebook and its called W32/Koobfa-Gen i googled it and yep,,its a bitch and not easily removed,,i also sense its trying to propagate,,as i got a ominous warning from YAHOO trying 2 send a email yo kelly to let her know i made it home,,the car is unstable its got no oil pressure and it could blow any minuet //// i noted yesterday that i was upset about farrah,,ONLY to be shocked about another death MICHEAL JACKSON died yesterday afternoon,, we lost EdMc mann - farah , and Michael,,this week , plus we just found out james is going to IRAQ and we all know you dont come back the same,,its the worst news ,,seems very troubling these days,,as everything is in a funk,,i only will acknowledge the positive tho,,and ignore these suspicions that these are the days of "the end"
it feels like everything is changing,, attitudes and awareness-es, my RA is on back burner,, even tho im in complete pain today,,i hurt in feet,,i cant walk very well,im wearing the dr sholls cute shoes from kelly,,she insisted i try them then insisted to keep them,,ha...OK i will ,,and now,i sleep in them,,i swear,,they r supportive that to take them off im screwed,,i cant walk on my sore feet,,they really hurt to walk on them gota go,,i have to go lay down,,i am in shock and i need to take some pain meds in order to continue with today,,im beat from yesterdays stress,,the car ,Farrah and Michael and now Kelly's transportation is jeopardized,,we have a car dr's appt next Thursday,, at bills on boulder ave downtown,,(best place in town)

now ,,i want to look around on this HD and find an interesting pic to upload
son and buddy the doggie
we do not know them -but like this picture

Thursday, June 25, 2009

ola,,just need to log that i have a 12.30 appt w/ ACT,, this is where dr grayson works and i see they take ppl w/o insurance,,its my last hope from this city,,i do believe that ive combed this town from top to bottom,in regards to health-care for RA and no insurance,,its just not gonna happen, we dont have the resourses here in tulsa,,which is the ONLY town id even concider living in,,here in this godforsaken state of oklahoma ,,and its too damn hot ,,its really hot and its NOT been like this for as long as i can recall
ive never ever seen such HOT weather over and over and over day after day after day,and NO end in sight
FARRAH died today,of cancer- i just saw this on CNN and it made me so sad to hear this.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

they forgot the elbows,,damnthem

monday nite,,methotrexate,,now im nauseated

Official visits jailed U.S. journalists in N. Korea

The Swedish ambassador met with two imprisoned American journalists in Pyongyang on Tuesday, a state department spokesman said. The visit was their first with him since a North Korean court handed down their 12-year sentence. The spokesman said he could not provide details of the conversation between the Swedish ambassador and Current TV journalists Euna Lee and Laura Ling. full story THANKGOD
Dangerously hot temperatures in Oklahoma

Temperatures in Oklahoma will be dangerously high and an excessive heat warning has been issued for Tulsa County through Tuesday.
The National Weather Service also issued a heat advisory for the remainder of northeastern Oklahoma through 7 p.m. Monday and an excessive heat watch for the northeast for Tuesday and Wednesday.
Monday night is to be clear with lows in the 60s and 70s followed by sunny skies Tuesday with highs in the 90s to around 100 degrees.
Wednesday is to remain clear with highs reaching the mid 90s to lower 100s

Monday, June 22, 2009

OK ..i am sick of writing about this damn life stealing and soul stealing RA crapola that ive had sooo enuff of,,
i am gonna find a PT job SOON and start working again,i cant live w/myself,,i may or may NOT blog,,i dont know,,all i know is im sick sick sick OF thnking feeling and dealing with R A.... its too much for me.
LOOK what dumped into my mailbox,,perfect timing,

Home » News » Stress News » Mental Health Issues Among Arthritis Patients
Mental Health Issues Among Arthritis Patients
By Rick Nauert PhD Senior News EditorReviewed by John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on June 15, 2009
Sixty-three percent of patients with rheumatoid arthritis (RA) also suffer from psychiatric disorders. The majority of these (87 percent) occur in the depressive spectrum.
The findings emanate from a new study presented today at the Annual Congress of the European League Against Rheumatism in Copenhagen, Denmark.
Interestingly, over half (52 percent) of the patients studied indicated that they had experienced stress events before the onset of their RA.
The study also revealed a number of other interesting findings about the emotional burden of RA:
Cognitive dysfunction was diagnosed in 23 percent of patients, with 16 percent of this attributed to depression
A third suffered from sleep disorders
Those with depression also exhibited more severe RA (measured by X-ray), greater functional insufficiency and pain, as well as having received less aggressive treatment than patients without depression. (No significant differences in age, duration of illness, gender or standardized scores were noted between the two groups)
Significantly, cognitive impairments were found more often (p=0.02) in patients older than 50 years (39 percent vs. 9 percent)
The age of the first prednisone intake was significantly higher (p<0.05)>Psychiatric disorders are a very common comorbidity for people with RA, and they tend to be stress-related and associated with disease activity and chronic pain.
“Evaluating and addressing the mental health of those with RA should be a regular feature of rheumatology practice to improve quality of life and reduce the potentially distressing psychological burden of RA.”
Source: European League Against Rheumatism
Yep ... says it all here ..
this world is becoming vey unstable,,and now the people in china are protesting against injustice and suppression:
scary times welive in,,as long as ther people gget justic,,everything is OK,,when u screw the people,,we r not gonna take it laying down,,"nice"doesnt get you anywhere! gotta fight for the right or " injustice " wins -

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

been awhile,, its all because of medication,ijust do not do well on drugs-- the
Penicillin was too much so i was so sick and tired truely beyound what i cold coop ith,,now i stared Metho agan and its a" low does",,and its pills - not needles,,thank god,,i do not have the stomach for needles again and humaria just burned like hell,,i cant go back to that-- i read report yesterday that brought tears to my eyes,,for he hope of a cure,,i mean lets stop RA dead in its tracks,that would be so wonderful for me and many other people,, we really do put up with the most pain and th guilt ad the horrors of it .. hard to have RA and survive OK,,its very hard. everything changes ,,and its all so unpredictable,,its hits you when u lest expect it,,and no telling for how long and how hard,,god,,what a scam,,
LOOK at this tho,,this is the report i found :http://www.mirror.co.uk/life-style/sex-health/2009/06/17/health-new-hope-for-arthritis-115875-21446641/ AWESOME gimme some quickly, so i can have my life back.
RA in my feet, neck wrist hands knees.
its back in my feet again,,,,its very very painful to walk on my foot-bones -shoes do not help,,i can only stay off of them for releife.
neropathay felt more these days,,maybe the heat/ the weather brings it out? i cant feel my hands or feet even tho my foot bones(the toes and the ball of foot) really hurt,,the flesh is numb.

Monday, June 15, 2009

did notrealiz e the time has flowen by and no word here,,,ive been buzy being sick and in pain pain pain,,yep,,ive really had RA now startnig to take over my feet,,it becomes too hard to walk after about 30 minuets of just messing around,,say, doing the dishes,,and doing lite husewrk..my feet hurt so bad that it makes it hard to stay asleep - its wearing me out...

Thursday, June 11, 2009

still do not feel good,,hurt bad,,typing w/1 finger..but i had to save this picture!
i laffed so hard when isaw this today,i hasd to save it,,what a treasure,hes so cute.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

im scared and im in pain completly

once again i woke up in incredible pain,,all over,,i dont sleep well,im having such bad dreams,,i am always running from something,,and telling everyone ahead that i will catch up and then i cant ,,i get lost and left behind,,it wakes me up and im having this dream in different variations and i am scared when i wake up and i start to cry from fear
i think im very insecure about the future and about myself and i think when shit hits the fan we will regret my lack of health,,i am weaning off these meds and going all natural and this is why im worried and insecure,im winging this completly,,no idea what im doing rreally,,,shit,,im scared that just that! scared about my future and scared about 2012,,and scared we wont be able to surive with RA -- i told all this to the shrink,,they belittle me,,why,,i have always been told my instints are right on and i should follow them,,and i am,,and everyone thinks im freaking out,,but,, i give up on telling anyone about how when winter gets here,,ALOT of PPL WILL GET H1N! and i do NOT intend on being one of them,,go nowhere! wash hands and breath no one else's air,,i cant afford to get sick
kelly told me her job is just slamming w/ bankruptcies and BKs from rich and famous here in tulsa,,businesses going under left and right,,leaving town w/ out any reason and without any warning,,ts EFFING WEIRD
when i see the future, i get very worried,,i watched videos on youtube about foodstrage and its a headache,,id rather starve,,or if i had money,id pay someone to do it for me,,i cant lug around those bags whole grains and pack them to last for ten- fifteen yrs,,, ID LOVE to do it,,but i cant afford the food we eat today much less a stash,,god we r screwed!!!! i spent 100 dollars at the
g-store,,and its already about gone,, money is not going as far as it did just a yr ago,,sugar is high and coffee will soon become a luxury not a necessity
times are changing and ,,thats why i am having bad dreams and wake up in soo much pain,,
its so hard on me,,i never wanna give up tho,,i wanna fight like hell for what we have
i trust in the lord and he will make my path straight
i napped and i feel better now,its amost time to drive downtown(just five blocks or so) and p/u kelly,i am guilty of sleeping aaaaall day yesterday and aaaaaalll day today,thankGOD kelly wont getmad,,thank GOD i wont be harrased or judged -at least for right now anyways who knows tho,,things change and i cant keep up with what im saposed to be doing- i made apost today to sell off kellys old but new cell phone..and a sprint mogul from angela,,she loves technoligy and likes to get whats hot and she gives us the old stuff and thats just great,,i see my post didnt make it thru the moderator,,that "tulsa sel" and"tulsa buy,sell,trade yahoo groups" SUCKS noones buying,,i dont know if thy all went somewhere else or what> i signed up at craigs list and made a post for my belts and a few other things,,but no hits,,ppl just want it free or forge it,,no one can afford anything ... i swear!
ya know how im always saying "pray to St Francis for the sweet and precious animals to be protected",,i found THIS in wikipedia,
awww ,,being a Catholic girl growing up.. i think htis is my favorite saint...
i pray to him always thru the lord Jesus Christ amen!

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

another thing to watch is this H1N1 ,,i understand its not being reported (media blackout unless is a death from the virus)
links for info
learned a new word 2day=Scilon had to really search to find out what this is,,i found it alright,,and its a weird connection /coincidence again

scilon : A person who sympathizes or is directly involved with the Church of Scientology. Used in a derogatory manner by Anonymous and those opposed to the practices of the Church of Scientology.
"Hey scilon, how much are they paying you to write this biased garbage? $70 a week?"
A follower of L. Ron Hubbard and the "Church" of Scientology. The term is a play on "Cylons," the robotic invaders in Battlestar Galactica. It is particularly appropriate because Hubbard was a science fiction writer, and the top-seekrit "OT levels" are based on the belief that we are infected with "body thetans," the confused, immortal souls of space aliens who became disoriented 75,000,000 years ago when the evil space warlord Xenu brought them to Earth (or Teegeeack, as it was known then), dropped them into volcanoes and blew them up with nuclear weapons.
"The Scilons tried to talk me into taking a Free Personality Test."
i was led to this discription of Dr. Rima (who i happen to like ) was called a "scilon " hummmmmmmmm. well i was looking at CODEX AL. again to see if any new news was out about it,,and i found alot,interesting ,,kelly says it'll be a cold day in hel;l before we the ppl let them out law vitimans,,but hey u never know! stranger things have happened,,like out - lawing liquor,,seems like crazy idea these days!


im here and its LATE,,its about three thirty,,and i only feel a little bit better,,im weak and my hands wrists and shoulders and neck and feet HURT HURT HURT,,why,,what the heck did i do to start all this? well,i didn't do anything,BUT i bet its cuz i cannot sleep -im having heat flashes thru-out my body and it wakes me up in middle of the nite, i cant ignore this either,,its very hot and it stays awhile then disappears,,and i get nauseated ,,so, i do not feel good at all,,,

its getting hot in OKlahoma now,,its hitting 90 degrees everyday,,and our skys are filled every morning with thin wispy long spreading out chremtrails,,i think if its bad for ppl then all the little bugs and birds and things would be poisoned and die,,,right????hummmm, what a mystery,,that i want to know all about,,hey,,anything im not supposed to know is what i want to know,,anything that is hidden makes me look harder and stay on it until i come to a conclusion about the situation then i move on to my next obsession hahahaaa,, now tho,,its the sky and the trails,,why do they keep it secret? why not just tell us,,unless its a deviant thing and would not like it,,soo,,the mystery continues,we will know one day WTF has been going on right over our heads
CNN's unseen photo of MM that was JUST found in a old someplace-(not as impotrtant as these pics!)
she was so special,and i love her!

Monday, June 08, 2009

im having a hard time with my neck area and the more active i am the more it hurts later,,i had to go crazy over fleas on the cats,,(probably got them from letting them eat grass outside early in the mornings) and the front line has still NOT arrived in the mail yet,wtf?
we are really needing that stuff while the cats are clean -
ohmyy neck tho,,why does it hurt and its clicking and everytimei move it ithurts,so no rubberneckin for me,,it gives me a headache. the chemtrails are back too,i noticed them last nite,,sunday eve,and they were thick in the sky this morning and yestrdaty (sunday)
took pictures of sunday early am chemtrails being made:
my photoalbum w/picasa (loveit)
i just spun off completly by going into picasa
He that is afraid to shake the dice will never throw a six.
- Chinese Proverb

Saturday, June 06, 2009

looks like im not the only one yelling and crazy about all this,,
LOOK from twitter:
The Obama hieroglyphic, Barack visits the pyramids.
by amazngdrx on Fri 05 Jun 2009 08:15 AM CDT Pat yourselves on the back, all Obama voters/supporters. What could be a better boost for peace than Obama's visit and his fantastic speech in Cairo?
Maybe identifying with Egypt's marvelous ancient history, personally? compare the ears on the hieroglyphic (video). Now touring the concentration camp his grandfather helped liberate with Ellie Weisel.
Forgive yourselves for getting verklempt, we really have helped change history. "Those who learn from history are doomed to watch others repeat it", maybe we all dispelled that gloomy historical cloud somewhat? Who said our individual votes/volunteer efforts don't count? They were wrong!
its allll over the net,,shiti thought it was just us and barack,,dang..

pictures of the trip Dallas march 2009 King Tut exhibit

this man is something "else" i screamed when i saw this on CNN,,i cannot tell u how personal this is,,we were in Dallas at the KING TUT EXHIBIT and no cameras allowed ... tina- kelly- and i had a LONG LONG time with the sarcophagus and we noticed one special very special icon -what i call hieroglyphics but this icon LOOKED LIKE BARACK OBAMA!! and we freaked right there in the dark and beautiful exhibit room where we looked over king tuts sarcophagus,,AKA tomb. golden and so magical i was in heaven the whole time i was with my Egyptian spirits. i have pics here:
look at this Barack is being shown the VERY same icon with doctor Hawass,(my hero) and they say the same thing we did,,
short clip-watch is here: swear i about cried for the coincidence of it all

Friday, June 05, 2009

today i feel heavy and my feet and neck really hurt
me and elvis ,,we r so funni - treat him like hes a person.

when i told kell about it all she felt so bad with me,,we didnt know what to do,,i threw it to the lord,,and kell called out there and they were so rude t o her,,they said,,well, of course our referrals oput to other doctors costs ,,of course,, " kell said no -one told us and hey,,thank alot fo r telling us what they were doing,,no call ,,no heads up to say,,we r referring you out,,, whats your status? im sure if i had $ 200.00 plus then i wouldn't be seeing a free doctor. id be payin a rheumatoigist ,,but we are greatful I MEAN GRATEFUL for the program we have found here with doctor whitte,,shes young and careing not over caring tho,,shes competent and i believe dr whitte wants to help,,shes not dealt w/ra in her young career,(shes only like 27-28)and shes a DOCTOR so shes by far intelligent and her bedside manner is fine,,-shes cool ,, the problem is her staff,,as we were to find out over a call to the head nurse of this program - she listened to what happened and understood about how un professional it is to talk about and make fun of a patient,(they did that the time w/kelly when i had RA in my jaw bone,and couldn't open my mouth and it attacked my gums),,IT actually DID ,every tooth in my bottom row HURT to the touch all down to the roots and bottom jaw bone its so weird, but i saw the dentist,& he said my jaw bone is deteriorating and he pulled a perfectly good BUT loose as all HELL-and thats where i went d-e-p-r-e-s-s-e-d-bigtime. the antibiotics cost 50 dollars!
so money,,not good,,health,,not good(still have the huge stain on my arm from 4-5 days ago injury) spirit fading , but its strong,,i feeel better already because i was scared to go today after kelly calling on the nurse out there,,but they assured me they will not know abut the call and all is top secret until a formal written complant is mad,IM IN NO HURRY cuz i cant look a gift horse in the mouth dangit,, im not buring my bridge...so dr whitte talked to meabout meth,,methotrexate,,she prescribed a low dose??,,pill form -no injections- and get bloodwork every month to monitor,,and if i am willing she is,,so i agreed,and i will re start pills of methotrexate,,

im nausea right now,,ug,,im going off to lay down my head is pounding , i still have so much to list.,,,later tho. i have to take that antibiotic,BIG WHITE AND expensive -- they make me nauseous

Thursday, June 04, 2009

the doctors TRICKED me again, then they leme down hard!
i got a call from a rhematoligist,,they called as per doctor whittes request --
to set up a appt for me . JUNE 30th 2009-
i was crying from greatfulness, i thought GOD was taking over the situation for me.
i thought god sent this gift of medicine - BUT AT THE END OF THE CALL THEY SAID BRING MONEY & LOTS of it -,,LIKE $200.00 plus AND PAY OUT THE REST,NO FUCKING WAY,.,IM SORRY DO U THINK MONEY GROWS ON TREES ?????I HAVE NO MONEY!!!! I HAVE NOTHING-WHY WOULD YOU CALL AND TEASE ME LIKE that,,WHY WHY WHY? what the hell are they thinking,,im over here depresessed and hurting and well,,frankly im dieing,,,slow and agonizing death,,torcher from RA. and depression.
i had hope
then they ripped it all away,,
i may just lay down and die,,fuckem,,,i cant handel this evil and Uncaring America that i live in,,its NO VILLAGE HERE
these are all assholes and selfish and evil,,i want nothing to do w/ any KIND of evil,,soo that means i cant go to anymore doctors,,-! they only want you money and if you have more then a headache,,or diabetes whatever and or high blood pressure,,thats a "can fix it" OH but anything else,,OMG just inadequate as allll can be -- i love this technology age we live in,,BUT ive NEVER EVER seen so much division and hate as i do today,,, i wish i could have lived duing the 1950s
(SAW the speech for Islam and it was eloquent)

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

im not well,im super RA'd and just had two backteeth pulled and im dying now,,i cant type,i have to go lay down before i throw up.
the dds said my jaw showes issues andhe said my bones are deterorating and cant support my teeth uin a normal manner,im crying and upset,,im losingmy life day by day,,i will end it allif this gets worse i just spent all f kellys money on a deal i am soo upset about to begin with now,,i owe more then what im really worh,,i should just cancel this deal and wait to com e back as a worldly scholar and a famous artist. period

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

tuesday day Time AND IM soooooooooooooooooooooooo sleepy, and i feel that infection brewing up again,shit,,is only been 2?weeks? this infection will not let go,,i just called A NEW dentist,i go tomorrow at ten-thirty am.
im glad.
thanks to God for the lead in the dentist for cheap..i had to call alot of places and tell my story over the past few days,,trying to find a dds..i found the ONLTY one here for poor people,,all the charity is gone --that's usually a "republican" thing,,u know,,the ol,,"pick yer OWN ass up from your OWN bootstraps,its everyman for himself here",THATS WHY I CHANGED TO DEMOCRAT "it takes a village" and as my hero mahatma gandi said= "ME-WE"- AND ITS BEAUTIFUL,,YHWH Pi

interesting fact: i was looking at a conspircy website,,(no reallly?) and i saw OUR VERY OWN ORAL ROBERTS as using the illuminitti in his arcetecture on our gold building here at 71st and lewis,,i live at 14th and about lewis, OH and heck,,i worked there for over three years a netscape witihall my cute little computer freaks,,they taught me everything i know,,about hacking and torrents and ripping ripping and networking and all about hardwar and the basic understanding of softwear installed or not,,and also they taught me hwow to fix and repair the SMTP and POP of all mail clients and online services like yahoo -
heres us at work then,,yrs around 1999-2000-2001- i was there when the planes hit NY towers,,i thought it was a joke at first- horrified to know it wasnt. gulp. still feel weird about that day and the events that happened. i thnk of it alot
OMG i just seached and FOUND THIS, about robert shuller the minister,,i liked him. wow,,the puzzel is getting more cokmplicated and the hole is DEEEEEP
hes a 33 degree mason,,thats up there,wow,,and its satanic,,my grandpa wa sa freemason in iowa,,and he belonged to the lodge there in riceville,iowa. love that town.
Thomas 5:
Jesus said, "Recognize what is in your sight, and that
which is hidden from you will become plain to you.
For there is nothing hidden which will not become manifest
about aliens crafts and how they travel,,here is some earthly science and it maybe what
they use..
Ferrofluid: Magnetic Liquid Technology
hydrangeas blue and pink-they r taking forever to bloom.

they r watching mila walk by w/her yorkie and her cat.
good morning-- i slept like crap, im SO tired,i seem to have a hard time sleeping lately
i wake up all thru the night and every morn about 5.30..in such pain,,(all the medicine wore off while sleeping) OMG my neck has got to have something done,,but what do we do tho? hell if i know/ i can only take pain aids and pray im not gonna die,,u dont understand just how crazy you will become if u live in pain 24/7 and i am SO SO sick of taking all these PILLS!
ive noticed ORENCIA is in the news alot ..i wish i could try it,,it seems that it helps immune the h1n1 virus.. wow,, it s now 6.00am here and im waiting for the sun to rise so i can do my chemtrail check,,,i really should have taken pictures yesterday,,they were EVERYWHERE .. so we had 3 days of NO chemtrails and then bamb,,just as we thought we were cool,,here they were doing it alll night under the cover of darkness,,im sure thats the new protocol now,,because more and more ppl are taking pictures and reporting it,,and now the government officially acknowledges the dirty works and now they say "OK !!!OK!! WE R doing this in the sky BUT its weather control," ,RIGHT H.A.A.R.P. "angels dont play that haarp" (good documentary)
OH and i seem to have insomnia now,benedryls do not help at all. why cant i sleep,when i am soooo tired all the time????? i believe its a spray to keep us under control,,make us feel heavy and tired all the time,,allergies and headaches all come from the sky and air we r breathing,,
(they -TPB- want 2/3rds dead and gone)
about our little pets all over the world:

1. My life is likely to last 10-15 years. Any separation from you is likely to be painful.

2. Give me time to understand what you want of me.

3. Place your trust in me. It is crucial for my well-being.

4. Don't be angry with me for long and don't lock me up as punishment. You have your work, your friends, your entertainment, but I have only you.

5. Talk to me. Even if I don't understand your words, I do understand your voice when speaking to me.

6. Be aware that however you treat me, I will never forget it.

7. Before you hit me, before you strike me, remember that I could hurt you, and yet, I choose not to bite you.

8. Before you scold me for being lazy or uncooperative, ask yourself if something might be bothering me. Perhaps I'm not getting the right food, I have been in the sun too long, or my heart might be getting old or weak.

9. Please take care of me when I grow old. You too, will grow old.

10. On the ultimate difficult journey, go with me please. Never say you can't bear to watch. Don't make me face this alone. Everything is easier for me if you are there, because I love you so.~Take a moment today to thank God for your pets. Enjoy and take good care of them. Life would be a much duller, less joyful experience without God's critters.

(TEAR- sniff ---omg i love animals soooooooo much.)

pray for St. Francis to watch over and protect them all.
baby's are precious
please donate to the humane society

Monday, June 01, 2009

only thing i willeat now fruits and veggies
boo,hes sompthin else.

little baby sleepin

chemtrails in progress

i feel the chemtrails (not feelin/lookin to good)

i hurt my arm today,i barely touched the door and this happened.
just horricfic -its from the prednisone
i am sti;ll taking vitiman D faithfuly but i still have really weak skin .. god,,i hope i never have to fend for my life cuz i dont think i can,,(i do have surpising strenght when adrenilin is flowing tho)
kelly knows howt o grow everything,,we started a blackberry brush (with thorns and all)
and we have been workin hard in the yard,,, and whew i am not able t o take on the heat,,its only around 85-87? and i cant handel it,,im having sever hot-flashes,,i read where pednisone can mess w/ the cycle,,i ddunno,,i know im having hot-flashes thats ferher!
OUR HOUSE IS SO MUCH BETTER NOW,iswear,,i thnk this ol house is hiding all its potential,, i pray to lord for a plummer and my income to start soon,,i need it bad,,im hanging on by thin line

CHEMTRAILS started up again /heavy last night,just as dusk,,the Sky's were covered,and by the way it looked when the sun arose,,i saw OLD chemtrails,,that were thick as pie and just hanging everywhere,,all thru the horizon an i feel really anxious i feel really RA'd out,, and im swollen bad in hands and feet, neck and shoulders.

ive been so "unable this morning until this very moment,,im having sever nausea and hot flashes that wont go away ,,i woke up this morning at 5.30 am to stagger for pain aids,,my feet and hands will not stop with the radiating pain (RA) i cant walk to well,my joints in my feet are just no good,,i cant walk with out anything on my feet,im a barefoot girl too,,,its just not my style, this RA business.
so i am looking for a dentist now that can wok w/ me,,i have to get my old tooth pulled fromk my back,,and my prednisone makes my teeth chip so badly that i just MUST have some order restored in my mouth before i go crazy, i keep bitting my toung from where my crown fell off and the tooth is so sharp under there,,damnit its always something... im like a old car now,,everythings starting to go,,LOL! but its true,,even tho my mind thinks im only Ohh about thirty now,, i dont know about this growing up thing,,and how to do it,,i can only be myself and its a little immature,,but i NEVER would want to hurt anyone adn judge anyone or be evil in anyway,,i care about how i make ppl feel,,i enjoy happy times with all,,even when im crtynig and laying i8n the hospitial,,i still crck up the doctor an make kelly laff too,, im just a suilly girl,,and its just crazy that i have to see my body falling apart while i used to have it all under control,,and and i was so strong and healthy,,shit i feel like my insides hurt,(organs) and it makes me think im gonna die and i should make out my will,,, i must take time to think of all my people and (past and present) and make out some paper type will that ensures people i KNOW GET a peice of me after im gone,,i hope i come back as a happy kitten in a real nice house and all i do for twenty years is live- enjoy eat-streeeeech - play- sleep- catch a bug or two-
and watch the people who own me just spoil the crap outta me,,(like we do to star-e-and booboo) its calle KARMA, u get what you deserve,,,,that attitude keeps me good.
just look at her(star) hard life,