Thursday, March 12, 2009

these are my RA knuckels -RA really shows
i am not doing so good today. the cold weather came back-its killin me.
today is Thursday i have a 2;00 appt with dr whitte,,at bedlam,,i need to know just what we r looking at here wiht my poor neck,(hurtz so bad) and i am very nervous about them thinkin they are gonna ween me off the klonipin,,i dont think thats a good idea, and i have to tell her that TODAY,,what the fuck am i gonna do if they take away the only efing thing that has beeen a life saver to me,,when i spin outta control i take a K and i am back on earth and more able t o deal,, omg thay are always taking away what works for me and leaving me to take this shit prednisone,,HEY lets taper that down,,its killing me slowly and they wanna take away the thing that works,,(as fucking usual) im pissed and going to go rest now,im so so upset.
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back,, its 12 30, i just called bedlam clinic=sandy park office and talked to beth, (OMG i never knew) (the blonde from michigan ) and cancelled my appt for today, i have a new one at mach 30 1.20pm, i wrote kelly and attched those pics of me,,she agrees, D o not look good today,its not a goood day to drive....
(its SNOWING NOW-thats just crazy!!!) sorry about all the cursing, i really get mad tho when i think about how all they have done is taken away the things that help,,and leave me with all the shit(prednisone) lexapro,,,, im not so sure i should not wean off that,,i mean really - i cant buy that on the street like i can klonipin xanax and valium,,which are all the kind of drug i need to stay calm, and in control,,when i dont have the K in me,,i cry and cry ..why do they want to take away the only sane pill i have,,i may just go postal,,like LOOK at this stuff,,this is why i do not trust any of the drugs DRUGS ARE BAD! GENERATION RX is not just about children its adults too

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