Thursday, March 26, 2009

i feel sick today - its thrusday,
last night we were invited over to twilla 's house for fried chicken dinner. we both did not feel like going but when kelly called over to her house to cancel - of course we just said OK we'll be over just as soon as we can-this was the first time i met her and her kids are very nice and they are half Egyptian,,(thats kool) we left at 7.30 pm, and then i was sooooo tired i crashed .the reason we didnt want to go over there, is because we both were sooo upset about what has happened with my SSDI case....its quite clear that things are not going n my favor/// i am waiting for the judge to decide in regards to my SSDI and he (judge) has welcomed any other evidence- but my atty is just weird..i dont know,,i cant explain it,, he doesnt care about this case at all- he's got so many bankruptcies ...he doesnt need to win this case,he is just fine if it doesnt win,,,,hes rollin' in dough and he is a typical atty stuff (try to be nice debi m)
im exhausted from being so upset with blatent mistakes...incompetence , and just downright rude-ness of ppl today- what on earth has happened,,its something tho,,seems like everyone is sooooo on edge and even in trafffic i feel the tension-noone gives anyone a break,,everyone drives crazy - no where else have i ever seen such stupidity in traffic.
my collaerbone Leftside- hurts badly and my neck hurts too,, even tho i had a MRI-i do not know one thing about the results,,,not even anything in writting ,,which i would expect at LEAST ...if no call .....OK look-my thinking is,,,after i had my regular Xrays,, the Dr ordered
MRI of my neck,,,,so that tells me something is up with my neck,,because MRIs cost ALOT OF Money and we didnt have to pay, government picked up that tab,,or taxpayers...thank you all of you tax payers,i mean really, thank you -i want to know why my neck hurts sooooo bad that it becomes so painful/stressfullllll i cant think- i cant concentrate-i cant move about-or anything- but cry from the pain,,i swear to god this pain would make some one wanna just end all because its so intense and inescapable for most of the time, i see a new shrink tomorrow (shes from the atttys office and its part of a stratigy. UPDATE:weve been requsting time to talk to chris,,,atty,,,and hes not been very responsive, SO today i about fell over when kelly called to tell me she TT chris and he has astonding news,,THEY ARESAYING NO DETEORATION IN HANDS ERITS AND ELBOWSwtf?shit i took remicade for ovr a year every effig month,,the hell with methotrexate,,and all the othe icky medicie why the fuck am i ruiening myself with prednisone if i dont have RA - they aer trying to tellme i dont have RA,,NOW IM stunned and i am so sick of how ppl are belittling of rheumatiod,and they are so not undeerstanding i loosig my mnd here,,tell me im dreaming just tell me im dreamnig

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