today im weak,, went w/ kelly to clean patsys house(5 thousand square feet home) by the we left her house , kell said something was all over me,,i looked in the rear viewmirror to see,,yep,,red dots everywhere,,huumm, dont feel good at all, but we have 2 go mow a lawn for $ now an weed eat and whatever else,,im not up 4 it but i have to ,,rent is days away ans we have about 200.00 and we need 800.00 we dont want to loose this house,but i cant kill myself to payforit either YES I CAN and will kill myself to keep it,,i will work dont care what falls off of my body,,or what kidney stops,,fuck it I dont care what they say,IM GONNA DRINK A FUCKIN BEER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tonite, im F*& drinkin .............................................................................. pics to show spots and dunno what they are i dont feel them- no itchy,,so,??-god only knows,, -anyways we have to go now,,go push a mower and weedeat with my guts alll inflamed and weak to the core,,but i NEED the $ and kelly needs the help,, cant let this costcronditus or what everthefuckitscalled,,get in my way of saving us and getting the rent for one more MONTH -just do month to month.,,why worrie about next,,wait,,im depressed and going off,i must hold it in,,, and flush this attitude,,not good,,but i have ANGNST and anger today,,im mad that i cant get up and go, ohfuckit.........................................and my left hipjointara cant be sat on,i mean my butt hurts to sit on it,,left side bone that uy sit on,,whatever its called,, hip joint -joint maybe?? lets just say i cant sit on my left side of my butt! now thats fucked up... and im not dealing,,see all the anger herre in this blog asi type why am i mad,,i dont know,why doi want to kick and punch someone,,(like a murderer or thief or some BAD person) i just would PUNCHuminthe gut soo hard,,