Sunday, October 01, 2006

sunday AM OCTOBER(myfavoritemonth),wokeup @ 5.00 am, got up because i wanted to see how i felt= i drank applejuice,sat here @ this computer and then decided to STaY UP and take my 10 ml prednisone 1600 folic aCID- and oxycod-
then at 8.00 am kelly woke up to see what i was up to, and see how i feel.
i told her i feel OK!!!!!!!!!
NO methotrexate since september 8th
by septemnber 15th i felt like my insides were gonna melt away or just glob up..
weight was 105(lost 20 pounds quickly)
i could NOT stay awake,- even tho my dad was here from minnesota.
by sunday sept 16th kelly took me to hospitial because i was complaining of kidney area pain ((**VERY bad friday nite,sept 16th-but better the next day -17th-but still present)))
today i feel better- IT MAY BE DUE TO LACK OF METHO?!?!
heres how i measure it,,
the usual patteren is 2-3 days of doing something-"working around" like ,i mean activity,,
like just house work and going to patsys w/kelly,but they give me the easy tasks-no vaccuum no picking up anything heavy-
BUT NOW- i am going on....lets see now,,LETS LOOK BACK AT THIS WEEK=
moday sept 25th i was active-no bouts of Ra(just have to wrap both wrists to use them)
tuesday sept 26th - enjoyed activity - cant remember what i did tho
wed sept 27th no issues
thurs no issues
friday - very busy day,, (((this is the day we were screwed by cavalry portfolio services MY OLD JOB )))- i called them DAY before to have ready my things and my attendance record from may 2005 to when i resigned aug 23rd,,they were to have them ready but when i got there,they=VICKY ARNOLD-human resourses-said she threw my things away, and they do thAT after 30 days of a person leaving the company---riiiiiiiiiiiight!!
I KNOW this is NOT true,,i worked there for 3.5 YEARS I KNOW she did that to me personally, and my request for documentaion was NOT availible,,as she had promised me YESTERDAY even MY THINGS WERE there YESTEDRDAY =ON THE PHONE yesterday U said NONE OF THIS -NOTHING,,NADDA!!!!!just OH,,ok OK I can have alll that ready for you friday,,no problem at all all friendly like .......NOPE!!!!!!! sure didnt have JSAQCKJ fuckingshit ready,,IM so pisssed off here this is INSANE RAGE-back 2 story of what happened=
she said can u wait?-i went outside to our car to wait and 10 minuets later she came out and told us that she cant do it,,and NY is trying, but NY computer crashed and can she just mail the papaers to me????,,I said i see where i stand now,U really ont even care about me,,she said OH no thats not true debi,,RIIIIIIGHT how patronizing can u get,,iNOTstupid,, kelly then went off on her because kell saw the hurt and pain on my face when V said she doesnt havemy things they have nbeen thren away and no papers as promised to me yesterday............. i was H-U -R -T
im soo stupid ---DONT I KNOW BY NOW that noone cares i mean really nooone cares,or if they care,,its only at their convienience - so supeficial..........
U really could care less, u fucking ROBOT, u Uthink u r better then everyone else. what makes u soo better then anyone else ,, u go to church right? and u call ur self a christian right? OK why then,,, u hippocrate, why are u judging me?????and this is PURE
Passive Aggressive behavior BIGTIME and i know it when i see it,,,

she thew away all of MY AWARDS AND GIFTS FROM PEOPLE ??? u fucking bitch i knew U had in in for me the moment u found out i live an" alternet lifestyle "and u probably are glad im sick--hey -like my lifesyle affects her in anyway??!! . i had NEVER discused my life with anyone there,,i did NOT have desk COVERED in family pics like everyone else,,i had NO picures infact - i kept my personal life separate from work life - leaned that thru 12 years of managment at retail stores,,mervyns 8 years,, into other stores then bebe mananger-- then OUTTA RETAIL after foleys departmnt store -
retail was getting TOOdamn stressfull at this point- i needed to take a break-do something different
* hope to not offend anyone,,but i HAVE to let it OUT! im soooooooo pisssed she thinks she is.....
added now 12.30 am oct2nd middle of the nite= i just read this,, and got allll stirred up again ,,just deeeeep inmy soul it hurts so bad, i cant belive after 3.5 & being so loyal to my job,,i Really cant belive she did that... and i see the lie now in retrospect

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