hi im back,,its been about 1- 2 hours now,,my medicine just doesnt work like it used to,, its wearing off,,the potency i mean,,, i JUST called my primary,(i love him-dr wiseman and he is a wiseman) i tt nurse,,told her ive benn waking up crying for 2 weeks now,,thats under estamating -- told her i need my oxy refilled but weneeed 2 increase dose (10 mil- what i take) awhile untill we get this rhuematoid under controll,,i cant keep crying and scareing kelly god she just doesnt know what to do but just hug and conmfort me,,and thats sweet i love her
i took a picture of how i amable to type now medicated and with protection and its really one finger typing so fuck mistakes = cant go back to fix unless im board im tooo hurtfull now

ps,,,, it was joys birthday yesterday and we forgot to call and say Happy Birthday,, so we called now... and told her how much we appreciated joy and angela to come over, and help us winterize this ol'house and she (joy) left little treats behind- like a cinnamon candle burning sweetly, and she saw the list of supplys on the fridge,,she came back from the store - with a bag of what was on that list,,she never told anyone either,, thats an angel,,,right? we r blessed so when im in pain and crying because my bones hurt and my splits hurt,,i still think about the people i get to see like kelly, angela and joy, shawney and all her clan,,and mary and her clan,,and jennifer woodencrosss and her clan,,so,,we really have some good people here around,,i l;ike my doctor,,but i think i may have tochange rhuenatologists again - i dont want to,, but im worst and i have to get better,,i need november 8th to get here so i can find out aBOUT MY "womanlyness"( ovary has to go they say,,soo we shall see ..november 8th the big day,,,, gulp!)