i wanted to love him,,buuuut,,,????

omgod,im soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo fustrated .i cant do anything becuze i canr see wanything,no,art,,no sewing, i only get hurt,mentally and physically,i get hurt trying to sew i cant see any thjing at all,,,
i want my life back now before i throw it all away,i cant handel the heat / i,m too hot all the time and if i am not hot im too cold with a wet feeling ,.,im squriming always, tying tohold my act together
i do think that this is the WORST year of my whole fucked up life,,i cant bare much, and im faLLING APART, AND HAVE TO not be like this when kell is hewre or it just oisses her off,,i cant express any fustration,i mu8st smile and be poliyte always,, its very hard when u feellleke a fucking failure,i cant see anything,,i cant get it fixed,,i got my turn down letter again and it said if i can blog i can work,,riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii ght,,does he know how long it took me to just see the keys and i cant even type a sentance with out the hell of looking at the effing words to se whats all backwards and wrong,,,,im so screwed ,,i mite as well just off the bridge,i cant dea,l,,i canrt deal imxcjnaesoufnqoeivkzljxc voiausgh-qivghboh AND I WONT BE VACK HERE TO LOG ANYMORE ABOUT MY LIFE THAT IS SO FUCKED- bye forever,,imnotfdoing this shit anymore,(tellim fustrated,,yep,i AM) i cant do anything ..i want my life back,, what is there for me-= NOTHING
i just deleteed the link to this blofg and i womntn be back anytime soon,,i gotta go out and find a job that i can do..im crying all day ,,and its nogood

the check arrived here,,what to do now???

1850. and some change,,ohboi,,i wish this were a real check, id be alot less worried about things,like food and clothing and medicaine and all the other stuff we do not have, i only wish for this money,,damnit.

i just emailed the bank it came fromby googling the name and addy...see what happens now,,gulp.

OHboi! JUST got a new EMAIL from susan olsen,,(thinkin little house on the prarrie)
LOOK @ THIS
Re: HI, YES /footwear - $150 (14th and utica area)
Friday, July 24, 2009 8:33 AM
From:
"susan olson" susanolson01@gmail.com
To:
"Debra Maddox"
Please let me know if you have received payment I am in London at the moment. If you have, you can go ahead and get it cashed, deduct your payment and send the balance via western union to the following details:
NAME OF RECEIVER: SUSAN OLSONADDRESS: 22 Tothill Street,CITY: LONDONCOUNTRY: UNITED KINGDOMZIP CODE: SW1H 9LA
Please make sure you take care of everything today and send me the transfer details i.e Money Transfer Cotrol Number (MTCN) and the total amount sent after charges. I will need the money to take care of some pressing bills and pay for pick-up.Waiting to read from you.Susan
riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight,,i wonder if she noticed i RE=posted the shoes i am saposedly sellijng to her,, god,,what a rippoff,
at least i got this info that i will certanly pass on to CL ppl.
==================
im obsessing again,,this means i MUST get away from the computer
LOOK:
Just a coincidence that these other cultures have a 2012 target?
Hopi Predict a 25yr period of purification followed by End of Fourth World and beginning of the Fifth.
Mayans Call it the 'end days' or the end of time as we know it.
Maoris Say that as the veils dissolve there will be a merging of the physical & spiritual worlds.
Zulu Believe that the whole world will be turned upside down.
Hindus Kali Yuga (end time of man). The Coming of Kalki & critical mass of Enlightened Ones.
Incas Call it the 'Age of Meeting Ourselves Again'.
Aztec Call this the Time of the Sixth Sun. A time of transformation. Creation of new race.
Dogon Say that the spaceship of the visitors, the Nommo, will return in the form of a blue star
Pueblo Acknowledge it'll be the emergence into the Fifth World
Cherokee Their ancient calendar ends exactly at 2012 as does the Mayan calendar.
Tibetan Kalachakra teachings are prophesies left by Buddha predicting Coming of the Golden Age.
Egypt According to the Great Pyramid (stone calendar), present time cycle ends in year 2012 AD
i was reading about the dogons in yr 2001,,kell and i had a book called
osiris mystery with akhentaten on th ecover,,ordered from great brittian
and it really went into the ledgend of the dogon tribe-and it was incredible,they knew of planets and drawf stars before we did with our telescopes//they were taught by anphibous aliens that came out of the water and flew away into space,,sounds alot like a primitive view of the aliens we see today,going in and out of the seas,like the in dragons triangle in japan,,its all very interesting to me
mardulk newyork is interesting too...dont ask,,manhattan project went on further there!
we r feeling so so physic and seems like everything is serindipity

i think the metho is working well,,my neck seems to be better and my hands and feet are not waking up in pain that will / and has been driving me insane completly
i do not think any-ANYone should live in such terrible pain.
i still have not had my blood tested,,hope thats OK,,gonna have to be OK,
she wanted me to test blood for every three weeks,,i havent done it even once
i cant control the money/transpotation that we have//we need to fix our POS car/ i HATE cars,,only cute lil sporty cars are excepable,,otherwise whatEVER!
i said last evening to kelly that i " have NO idea how we r making it on her pay,,she said its BREAD and LOAVES thing" ,,and it is indeed.prasie the lord fersher!
i sold her cellphones for 150.00 dollars- still we have no money,no food and i cant help but wanna go back to work,anywhere were i can sit but ,,no helping the public or it will be too much,,i cant deal with bitching people - i cant even deal with someone honking their horn in the traffic,,i will flip em off and just bitch about it. and wonder what the Fuc# is the hurry and why the honk when you have another red light right up the street,,effers..! no one can drive here - i say driving is like poetry its fluid and just should flow,but not here,these ppl just do not know how to drive defensivly.
my neck is emproving adn so is everything else thanks to methotrexate.
i felt weird last nite,,i remembered how lonely i was in 2000-2001 and cut myself off from everyone i knew,,i wanted to get away from bad influence and start over,,well,i feel that emptiness again,,why? i have these catas and kell,,but i feel so alone and afraid and having bad dreams about ppl leaving me ,,i feel scared to death and somethimnmes i think its better if i die,,why is that,i dont wana die,,but i feel so doomed,,and nothing is gonna be better then this,,and i couldnt live knowing this is as good as ot gets,,i mite as well be in prision, im so limited,i HATETHIS.

OHNO<<>>>>

right here and so close to us,,OMG!

Soldiers Confirmed With Swine Flu in McAlester

- Eight soldiers at the McAlester Army Ammunition Plant have tested positive for the swine flu in what health officials say is the largest single outbreak of the virus in the state.The base's medical director Dr. Norman McAlester said Wednesday most of the soldiers already have recovered. He says all the soldiers who were ill wore face masks and were isolated from the rest of the soldiers who were taking part in a national training exercise at the base.
Base spokesman Mark Hughes says the soldiers were from Texas and Puerto Rico but declined to identify which military units they were with.The cases mark the first confirmed cases of swine flu in Pittsburg County.

http://www.ktul.com/news/stories/0709/642971.html

watching the ESOTERIC agenda AGAIN! trying to spot the bullshit,,or false claims

**the DalaiLama says:
The Buddha generally presented himself as more physician than metaphysician: if an arrow is sticking out of your side, he famously said, don’t argue about where it came from or who made it; just pull it out. You make your way to happiness not by fretting about it or trafficking in New Age affirmations, but simply by finding the cause of your suffering, and then attending to it, as any doctor (of mind or body) might do.
i will try hard to achieve this,
his life is incredible,,i believe he is a supreme being from God, sent to teach this way of life, its peaceful and recycling and harmonious,love that so much.i love the dali lama /hes inspiring,Just reading a new atrtical about him I noticed that i read the whole article - i NEVER read the full article on any story,ufos or NWO
stuff= but i had to read this and realized i read the whole thing and thought to my self,,yep,,i must really be taken by him OR i wouldn't be sitting here reading it
all the way thru..
http://happydays.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/07/22/the-doctor-is-within/
i am not taking the shot either.....................

thank GOD i feel MUCH better today. was not sure how i was gonna make it today when i got UP,painaids bigtime today
i had lil'baby star waking me up as usual.HOW DOES SHE KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS? she does this lil' thing every morning,,she jumps up in to me inbed and with her little meow she climbs up and hunkers down under the blanket.ofcouse i wake and pet her. OMgod,shes a little blessing.she makes us smile and feel happy.thats why the lord has sent her to us,she is a blessing.
i think im going to spend alittle time here online,i have to post somethings to sell. we have a scammer trying to scam us right now,,her name is susan olsen (gotta google that name in tulsa)and shes contacted me in regards to the shoes kell's mom gave us to sell. they are expensive type of walking tennis shoe,and we r asking 150.00 for them.
this lady sent a email asking for them via money order and without getting the shoes.what??im NOT stupid.noone would buy something unseen and send money like that,,im sure its a scam,,i am "playing" her right back.sounding naive and stupid about it
i post the correspondence here for amusement:
(((CRAIGSLIST ADVISORY--AVOID SCAMS BY DEALING LOCALLY)))) -riiight

Still up for sale?
i said YES,then this stuff:

Hi,
Whats your full name and address so i can send you a money order or check for your asking price. Hopefully you will get it this week or early next week. Please reserve it for me, i do not mind adding twenty dollar for the delay. As for Pick-up, i already have an arrangement for that so wont be a problem. Get back to me ASAP.
Susan right here i smelled a scam,,
but i kept her going so we can prove it and bust her.
hehee, like im all stupid or somptin......
Hi Debra,
Your payment has been sent but there is something i think i must bring to your notice immediately. I just discovered there is an error in the payment sent to you. My assistant sent the payment meant for another item thats more expensive than yours. I have called the post office to see if they could retrieve it but nothing positive. I really dont know what to do now. Please and Please, you can go ahead and cash out the Money Order at your Bank when you receive it, deduct your payment and send the balance via western union to the details i will provide you with. Can i trust you to do that for me?
Susan i said this:

hi i only now found this emaill ,so sorry for the delay,,yes,thats fine dear
i willletyou know when i see it
thanks alot
DM

Hi Debra,
Thanks for putting my mind at rest. I am sure you will get payment this week. Please let me know as soon as you have received it. I am scheduled to leave town tomorrow for a family emergency but i will keep in touch. My plan is for Fedex to pick-up for me when you get payment. So please let me know when you receive it so i can tell you where to send my balance and also schedule pick-up.
Susanwe shall see what happens
thought id see the money order and call the police(i know MOs are false . counterfeit or something)

hi ive been really sick,,dunno why,,i am queeezy and its hard to see,,my eyeballs feel like they r burning and gonna pop from trying to see,i tried to get alot done and now im paying for it.i cant handle my neck pain
my stomach feels like i cant let it empty or it will burn,,i need to look up methotrexate side effects,,and see if its what is doing this,,i feel sick
=============
Seek medical attention right away if any of these SEVERE side effects occur when using Methotrexate Tablets:
Severe allergic reactions (rash; hives; itching; difficulty breathing; tightness in the chest; swelling of the mouth, face, lips, or tongue); black, tarry stools; blood in the urine; calf or leg pain or swelling; change in the amount of urine; chest pain; coma; confusion; coughing up blood; dark urine; diarrhea; difficult or painful urination; dry cough; fever, chills, or sore throat; menstrual changes; mental or mood changes; mouth sores; one-sided weakness; red, swollen, peeling, or blistered skin; seizures; severe or persistent nausea or vomiting; shortness of breath; speech changes; unusual bleeding or bruising; unusual pain and discoloration of the skin; unusual tiredness or weakness; vision changes or vision loss; yellowing of skin or eyes.

nibiru is coming/ im extremely worried about this/i will be glad when dec 21 -2012 is OVER.

symbolic,i saw a nibiru RIGHT aWAY

(r they giving a signal?)

the L-room,where we hang out now (away from the computers)

this cute little creature

In this 1979 episode of 60 Minutes, Mike Wallace talks to President Ford and others about the Swine Flu vaccine of 1976. Note the admitted lack of safety and informed consent, even as TV ads frightened American citizens into getting a shot. Do you think anything has changed today?

this is why i am scared to take the shot,,i have never taken a flu shot since i had one that made me sick sick sick,,maybe thats how i got RA.? never know,,neverwill know either

this is me in 2001

tomorrow,JULY 21-

we will experience a solar eclipse. Spread over about 4 hours, beginning at around midnight GMT on the 22nd, the period of the total eclipse will be over 6 minutes in a given location and is said to be the longest of this century. http://www.shadowandsubstance.com/ is an excellent site to see how it will pass over us.

also in the headlines,creepy=EU Document #666 creates the antichrists office

i worked so hard lately that i finaly cried from pain last nite,,i was in so much pain i couldnt even bathe or walk or anything,,ive been under the sinus spell,,my eyes hurt like hell and i have a headache that wont quit,,been 3 days of this headache,bbl

Daniel:10 None of the wicked will understand, but those who are wise will understand.

looks like the heat storm is over,im way tired today -thats all i can typefor now,,im drowzey

shes TOO cute

supersupper obsession

hey,

i google IMAGED myself,i got this frankenstein picture = thats just funni,,google debra maddox and u get frankenstein,i love it.
i just got a call from halley at 'center for physical help',,its a nice place,,swimming,yoga,art,planting,everything ! they said i could come back for re-enrollment -i want my YOGA back,,i had to quit it last time because id agravate my neck,so badly that i could not bear it anymore,it was all about my neck pain for a year (a burning hot watery feeling in the back of my head and neck)
i see that my old (first) boyfriend named danny B, has a brother who's in our state senate,mr brogden / i should vote for him even tho hes a republican as i was for all my life UNTIL GHWBUSH messed it all up. w/ his fummbling incopadence.and hes a grandchild of alistercrowley, i cannot believe PLL voted for this guy.2X no-less.
sotomayor has been taking all of my attn- i hope she gets in. i like her.
and Obama wason CNN andycooper ,,i missed it,,i need to rewatch it from cnn.com/i love anderson C,,hes a doll,and so good at his job. i ama news CNN JUNKIE,,i love OCTAVIA and christien amanpour the most. ive always loved the news tho,,NOT local news,thats too lame!!

just CNN, i used to watch FOX . i quit watching cuz they r on the RED team and im on the BLUE team,,blue is a MUCH BETTER COLOR then evil red!

this is BLUE.........

aboutRed:
For the ancient Romans, a red flag was a signal for battle.
Because of its visibility, stop signs, stoplights, brake lights, and fire equipment are all painted red.
The ancient Egyptians considered themselves a red race and painted their bodies with red dye for emphasis.
In Russia, red means beautiful. The Bolsheviks used a red flag as their symbol when they overthrew the tsar in 1917. That is how red became the color of communism.
In India, red is the symbol for a soldier.
In South Africa, red is the color of mourning.
It's considered good luck to tie a red bow on a new car.
In China, red is the color of good luck and is used as a holiday and wedding color. Chinese babies are given their names at a red-egg ceremony.
Superstitious people think red frightens the devil.
A “red-letter day” is one of special importance and good fortune.
In Greece, eggs are dyed red for good luck at Easter time.
To “paint the town red” is to celebrate.
Red is the color most commonly found in national flags.
In the English War of the Roses, red was the color of the House of Lancaster, which defeated the House of York, symbolized by the color white.
The “Redshirts” were the soldiers of the Italian leader Garibaldi, who unified modern Italy in the nineteenth century.
To “see red” is to be angry.
A “red herring” is a distraction, something that takes attention away from the real issue.
A “red eye” is an overnight airplane flight.
If a business is “in the red,” it is losing money.

hey no posting lately,,why says Gloria???/ well,,i dunno ...i have been OK and tring to stay away form the computer for awhile - i think the news and all the politics were making me have bad dreams

Today i can hardly keep my eyes open . i am out to take some pics right now then come back to post ! hands and feet have been bad,,swollen and painful and neck too,Oh knees too

its weird HOT,,i do mean weird weather fromhell,,

NEW equator after the poleshift from planetX (2012)

today is saturday,,we r here,,kelly thought she was gonna work today but the other ppl who were working today decided to go in on sunday instead,we avoided the SUN & heat as much as possible but kelly was over at her moms mowing their yard at tenoclock,,came back here and the car was full of new plants from JOY,, a squash,,some flowers,,the bulbs and blooms,,some bunny ears and some lavender in a pot,,cute,,i thought that was nice/ dropped those in to the ground early to keep from being in the heat,,its 110 out there / im tellng ya,,im not getting the good feeling over the hot hot HEAT-wave we have been in-i think its gonna be a permenent thing,,and i will tellu why?
because we r in solar cycle 24 and we have a new active sunspot now

that is 100 times the size of eath and thats interesting timming..because the REAL -the real issue or "cause" is due to PLANET X getting closer into our views now and its simply making it hotter in space ,,the telescope in south pole has in photos,,its definatly headed to us,and will be here in 2012 to cause destruxtion,,and this is the root of my fears ..its really bugging me,,i stay away from all that doom online but its on CNN and at everywhere i go,,
it is leading me to LOOK INTO THE FACE OF THE FUTURE
and for the first time,,IM PAYING ATTN>>>>im scared at what i see,,,my heart pounds when
i thinnk of my endurance and 2012 commming,,i have to think about getting my endurence up and going i need my strength now more then ever-
meditate and WATCH how close planet X comes..unfortunatly, i was watching it month by month at "nasa site"but the page that allows that is GONE,,closed off now to the general public.
i must get a telescope at our neighborhood pawnshop for cheap..and take my own pics and monitor the skies ,,im going to law of attraction that along with a camera that can handel space shots ..id be alll over this shit,,and brodcasting it via web-

heres yesterdays news :

Record Heat Hitting State; More In Forecast

Tulsa - Records continue to fall as a Summer heatwave maintains its grip on Oklahoma and Texas.On Thursday parts of Northwestern Oklahoma climbed above 110 degrees with Buffalo, OK setting an all-time record of 115 degrees and it could get even hotter on Friday.A strong upper-level high pressure system continues to sit over the Southern Plains and Southwest states keeping things dry and very hot.
8 Talkback:Click Here to Comment on this Story

video that has alot of interesting stuff:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-512109331712495464

its friday .kellys got the day off so we slept in a little,,im awake becuz the cats woke me up as usual - e and baby just will not leave me alone,(love that)
i am worried about our future - i see the G-8 was not very covered in the news,i am scannig the Internet for any kind of significant news,,relating to UFOs and weather and politics,,these are all of my addictions and obsessions..i am obsessed w/politics Obama cant do one damn thing with out me knowing about it,,im all over the main stream media and the independent(favorite)
i have a feeling things are going to become MORE unstable in my world..fallout from the high prices on everything and hot weather thastis soooooo unusual
my methotrexate is commingalone fine,, it tok a little time to get used to the cemotherapy again,,but im cool for now,, i will report that my neck is still a monster and feet seem to be bacling off as far as pain,, ive been staying low key and trying to not do to much so i hurt by 5,pm
i hurt the worst at nite after the day of doing stuff

im splotchy from hives,,its from anxiety

i was just saying last night ..that come fall time.,,.the cases of H1N1 will increaSE according to the "WEBBOT" predictions and" natural news" website
now i see that CNN has made a story today about the very subject,,interesting ::
Prepare for swine flu outbreak, Obama tells local officials
NEW: Obama urges officials, schools to plan vaccination campaign in fall
Some swine flu vaccine should be available by October, health officials say
CDC reports more than 33,000 confirmed cases in U.S.
World Health Organization declared global pandemic last month
these days are sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo strange
i still feel very sad about MJs kids,,that lil paris is so cute.
weather is out of control with the heat and all,,, just weird weather and weird vibes,,i have the kodak camera to use for now,,its a peice of shit but ill use it
here is this morning at 5.45 am,,,(its raiming)
this is the sky last night

its unusually hot

sun solar clycle 24

..,it has never stayed so hot for so long = most years we only have 2 or 3 days where it gets this hot but this is going on and on like its normal,,i see global warming right here at home,, it doesnt take a scientist to see that its TOO HOT and its not normal

heres lil blanket,hes beautiful /im obsessed wiht MJs kids,,we finaly get to see them clearly..i have saved every pic of them,,and i keep looking at these kids like they r aliens and they may just be aliens
============

by winter,,we should be seeing alot of deaths= vitaman D is my only weapon
i will not take the shot,,i will end up in a fema camp for unruly's,,LOL not funni tho...
Tamiflu No Help for Pandemic H1N1 as Drug-Resistant case of swine flu found July 8, 2009
shit,,im not taking the shot,,its a way to mark you ... no way!

Remember: Numero Uno illuminati modus operandi:
1) Create the problem. 2) Allow chaos to ensue. 3) Offer the solution.
Follow the money. Who stands to gain enormous profits from treating Swine Flu victims around the world? – CKH
---------------------------
No manufacturer is going to make that many ” coffin liners” if someone didn’t order them.
The only entity who could afford to finance an order of thousands of these is the government.
Only someone who is not spending their own money would place the order in the first place.
case closed.—–infinitus est numerus stultorum!
----------------------------
INFINITE IS THE NUMBER OF FOOLS” ———–Si vis pacem, para bellum
----------------------------
http://www.vantageproducts.com/ the coffins for FEMA sittting in spots everywhere thru USA,,,why? they know something we dont

<= whats reaaally going on out there!!! its just so obvious and they dont even care to hide it anymore

i lost my post,,WTF? omygod,,i hate it when that happens.. i wrote the that the

penumbral eclipse of the moon expected to occur on July 7 today
and my camera is broken ..

we have this comming up too: A total solar eclipse on July 22.

i took methotrexate last nite and hardly slept..i tossed and turned and never got any good sleep. been feeling really weird lately ...kelly too we said last nite the day seem weird and we feel detached ,.and strange,,just looking around at whatever is freaking us out,

illuminitti is making good headway these days

I HAVE NEVER SEEN SO MANY REPORTS NOW ABOUT THE END AND WHATS GOING ON GLOBALY ..LIKE THE DEATH OF US ALL,

AND THE HARD TIMES COMMING ,I AM SCARED BECAUSE ITS EVERYWHERE NOW ,,EVEN CNN IS COVERING SUCH THINGS, BUT IN A "PUZZELED UP" WAY,LIKE THE REPORT

ABOUT THE SEED STORAGE IN NORWAY..LIKE ITS NO BIG DEAL,,DID U KNOW BILL GATES IS FUNDING THAT??? HES AN ELLITE AND I KNOW THEY WANT 2-3RDS DEAD SOON, JUST WATCH AND MARK MY WORDS PEOPLE *EFF MY RHEMOTOID ARTHITIS AND THE WHole DISEASE THING,THIS IS WAY WAY MORE IMPORTANT,.IM GLAD IM NOT ADDICTED TO ANYTHING BUT PREDNISONE,, IM ALMOST OFF OF THAT,,ANOTHER YeaR..IM DONE W/ THE DRUGS FOR RA,,ITS TO MUCH OF A LIABLITY right now.

MICHAEL JACKSON= im still morningthe death of michael,,i wanna say its hardto like him and its hard to NOT like him,,, we,,meand ,mary got to see the jackson 5 in concert when we were only just kids,,we LOVED the jackson five,,thats how we startedto learn to dance and sing to all of the ABC and ILL BE THERE and BEN,,the rat,,i loved that rat!!! ( and i loved the osmonds too) ..so we'd dance all day to our records and singing those songs over and over,,that was one CUTE lil boy,,that kid named michael jackson ((( it was a concert in st paul minnesota)) and we screamed the whole time,,,we were so excited and knew every EVERY SONG - started going to alot of concerts then,,mom took us,,she loved her rock and roll / thats fershure! we had EVERY motown record then,,and tonyV. (our stepdad)was a lead singer in a band and rehearsal was at our house every other nite,,oh "the adults were partying" they had fun and we had fun,,at 224 north victoria saint paul minnesota..i googled the address and my old house is gone but the rest

of the neighorhood looks just the same! we went to J.J.HILL public school ( we were the ONLY "white " kids there) thats when we knew princerogers nelson,,we were all kids then at the same schools..amazing,,janet jackson still hangs out there,,were we did,,its so cool to remeber all that,,what a different world we lived in then- ,,minnesota is the best place to live really // its happening up there (liberal)
this is prince

we may all be exposed to harsh radiation starting tomorrow JULY 7th 2009
NASA shutdown web based Realtime Data service ahead of solar storm prediction July 07,2009 ?

http://ufoblogger.blogspot.com/2009/07/earth-magnetospheresun-solar-storm-and.html

you know how I'm always saying,,Oklahoma's got a big problem with incompetence?
this is embarrassing for the medical world :
For the first time ever in the state, the medical examiner's office has lost its national accreditation.
im talkin; big bad bold incompetence,,ppl cant even drive normal here (so embaressing)

whats stressing me out? well. couple of things, first of a;;..is the fact that tomorrow JULY 4th is supposed to the day that north Korea hits Hawaii
thats the buzz on the internet,and conspiracy ppl are stirring it up
PLUS july 14th is the day that is supposed to be a solar eclipse and when the crop circle that is a octopus is predicting,,or WARNING us here on earth that a bad bad bad solar storm is coming - here's a link to the crop circle that just appeared in England of course,,
29 MaY 2009
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uyp5zpAaf6E&feature=fvw
this is a beautiful CC,,i love that the aliens are warning ,,or communicating w/us,,i do not just write this stuff off,,its all part of the program,,and its very significant lets Wait and See,meanwhile ive got to start storing water in the basement,,incase we gotta go underground for awhile... be prepaired,,alway is my moto,,we also need canned goods down there,,batterys and flashligts and the gun~
RA is buggin me - my knees are bad now,,they r swollen,,and hurt,,my hands are bad too,,
just having the worst mussel aches and pains ever

a picture to capture how i feel

i am on week 4 now of methotrexarte,, i can feel it working,,i feel better,,i have alot more endurance now and i almost do not need to rest during the day,i say that.. but ,,i have fallen asleep today and yesterday,i woke up late and feeling super anxiety

i am so under the influence of anxiety.,.almost could not drive yesterday and this mormning

(im still having hot flashes from hell )

you know how i always say i LOVE downtown,,well,,,so does hollywood
http://cfc.ktul.com/slideshow/slideshow.cfm?id=313&pagenum=2
now i gotta find away we can got on the set of this film...

http://www.bloggersunite.org/event/free-iran

its early on wed..im doingOK,,that METHOTREXATE (pill form) is helping me. i feel so much more able to do things and get thru the day w/ o needing to sleep to get rid of the RA,,wow,,i am impressed,i still have horrific unbearable pain in my neck and feet ...no matter what i do ,,my neck /spine always hurts and i can hardly think over all the pain,,. i think if i can get rid of this neck pain and feet pain, then i mite be able to actually think about anything for longer then a minuet =i cant stay focused over the throbbing and continuous pain in my neck. somethings wrong w/ my browser now..i cant get active X on,,wtf>? im scanning now for any new viruses,,looks like midnite scan caught 4 other suspicious files to quarantine. crazy.