Tuesday, December 22, 2009

this cute lil kitten named star

ifinished this painting and tried to scan it ( doesnt look that good via scan)
well,,im sending this to my mom, its called " windy "
and it could be better but i just got impatient as usual.
something is happening to me,,i feel like im seeing things for the first time and i DONT LIKE IT,,i am super Unhappy and hard to fake it any more. WHY is this happening to me,,i just want to go to sleep and stay that way,,i dont want to wake up ever!
my soul is bothered and im not happy with where i am anymore,,and whats been going on,,im rotting away and noone can help. im slipping into a deep place and i am afraid i will not pull out of it this time,,i feel like just going to sleep, or going to another place another world, where people are kind and true and you dont need to be young and pretty to survive. its all fading away and i cant imagine where all this is going other then down down down into that pit - shit- i wish i could just be happy and secure but fact is,,im sinking and noone can help me.
i have no energy,,i cant think straight and i am just existing ,,im not living.just weird as hell,,,i mean i feel WEIRD!

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