monday nite,,im a lucky girl, guess god REALLY does give you what you need when you need it,,in my case,,i person to trust to spill the beans ,,i have seen my physiotherapist now 2x and it helps,, i can trust and just say what i need to say then figure out why i am soo mean to myself in regard to ra,,
im thankfull that i have found a therapist that i can trust (shes not on the neo-con,
bush-SELF-right-ous side of things,,shes down to earth and i like her,this is a good thing,,i knew when i was talking and thinking suicide i HAD to find someoone to talk to,,she says its NOT about me deserving this ra disease,im not cursed and i didnt ask for it,,i do not have it because im being punished for something,,i just happens to people and thats that, (i did feel like i was being punished for some wrong doing long time ago or something...)

i just read this post and cannot belive i thought there was gonna be some good,,EVERYTIME i feel like its gonna be OK,,,something happens to push me back into my place,,which is............(just when ya think ya got it,,bamb!) gotta shake my head