today is monday( 8.00 am)
im wide awake and feel very sureal today(no pictures yet),,,like im not me, or this is not real
have you ever felt like that? u may just be doing what ever you always do,,and suddenly you realize that you feelstrange,,sortof detached and sureal .. then with a closer check i re-enforce that creepy feeling by looking around this ol' room, it feels like im NOT here, this room is NOT real -
--how strange--- did i blog that i8 dropped my camera and broke it? im so upset. this happened days ago and i cannot stop beating myself up for it,,altho,,i drop EVERYTHING now,,my hands are not as trustworthy ....they are very undpendible,,, i cannot be trusted with delicate things like de-bugging a bomb or eyebrow trimming,,no WAY ...cant get my hands to work as articulate as they were once PAID to be ...(talking 'bout my art - hell, i spent one whole year drawing fossils for amaco (((for a professor who used the drawings at the geoligist convention for that year,, 1984ish))) wild. huh?~!
LATER 11.00 amish,,,
i now have a pic of me today,,i have had a slight breakdown,,our car is at the shop,,the bill has NOT punched us in the gut yet,,and we r starnded,,and i have appts with ssi this week and next week ,,im scared to death and feel so upset / afraid/elbows hurting today/mind is twisting off/ thank god i have kelly ...thats all imsaying,,omg id be so "dead" by now,,,