Monday, November 13, 2006

today is monday( 8.00 am)
im wide awake and feel very sureal today(no pictures yet),,,like im not me, or this is not real
have you ever felt like that? u may just be doing what ever you always do,,and suddenly you realize that you feelstrange,,sortof detached and sureal .. then with a closer check i re-enforce that creepy feeling by looking around this ol' room, it feels like im NOT here, this room is NOT real -
--how strange--- did i blog that i8 dropped my camera and broke it? im so upset. this happened days ago and i cannot stop beating myself up for it,,altho,,i drop EVERYTHING now,,my hands are not as trustworthy ....they are very undpendible,,, i cannot be trusted with delicate things like de-bugging a bomb or eyebrow trimming,,no WAY ...cant get my hands to work as articulate as they were once PAID to be ...(talking 'bout my art - hell, i spent one whole year drawing fossils for amaco (((for a professor who used the drawings at the geoligist convention for that year,, 1984ish))) wild. huh?~!
LATER 11.00 amish,,,
i now have a pic of me today,,i have had a slight breakdown,,our car is at the shop,,the bill has NOT punched us in the gut yet,,and we r starnded,,and i have appts with ssi this week and next week ,,im scared to death and feel so upset / afraid/elbows hurting today/mind is twisting off/ thank god i have kelly ...thats all imsaying,,omg id be so "dead" by now,,,

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