riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight,,,ssi sent me a chewed up letter

this is from the mail box today,,i had to tape pages all back together inorder to make any sense out ofit. gulp..serious business heree,,im like petrified im gonna do somehting wrong or say something wrong and not get the help i need so desperately . i need the lords angles to watch over me - to guide me - and keep me on the right path
i want to paint so badly my hands are somewhat better,, i may just be able to start a oil painting soon / my heart, soul, and mind, all have to be in the mood and once a painting is started i will not stop untilll done.... i will be obsessed and hyperfocued and i really cannot start that now,,


i have to deal w/ ssi scary scarry scary --im soo scared of the government,, like te police and all those uniforms,,ug! so intemidating ,,,,, so this week i have to see a ss i person to be evaluated,,im really scared (dunno why- just am its like,,,ew,,dont "look" at me-please