GUESS WHAT? IM ALMOST 50 YEARS OLD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!( feel like 28 or so )
(b-day oct 3rd) i cant believe this Im really gonna be 46 but thats close enuff to 50 so i'm just gonna say 50 and get it over with.





wed was a good day and of course i slept all day. That seems to be the KEY to beating the pain,i've NOT been too bad off in pain 2day or yesterday ,with the exception of my (L) hip always radiating pain-BUT my hands feel OK and feet not so bad either-im happy, it reminds me of when i was normal at 5 years or so ago,,mnore like 6 years ago if i think about it really, damn time flys when ya sleep all nite an day,im the true RipVanWinkel /// i had NO ACTIVITY it was easy going and i was glad.

i am just SO SICK OF complaining about the pain, i am so SICK OF THE PAIN, the pills are not working very well to supress the pain,,my feet,i can hardly walk

-i cry from the pain in my elbows and feet why does it HURT SO BAD!?!

this RA is really making me crazy in the head, u may not know this BUT i cant type a word without it being backwards i have to go back and check ALL THE tiem,<-unfixed errorSEE!!!

i beleiv its dislexia i have had it always BUT ITS OUT OF CONTROL NOW- every word is backwards transposed whatever ya callit,,this is why i cheat,,like U and r u commin g ? or c u later

or ppl,for pepole

im weak and tired,,today is monday PM an i have slept all day and still feel awful,i have spent time w/kelly and i tried topost a few things online,but im so out of it,,the weather is muggy and hot like around 90 during the day so thats HOT-it makes me sooo sleepy

my skin

is paper thin,why??? see the spots ?- i always get those spots up and down my friggen arms,add the bruses too and i look reeeeeeeal good huh? im falling apart,,ssi sent me a pac to fill out -ug nothing too bad,,

i was to go see mary today but could not walk on my feet again,i still have tape wrapped arund my toes to hold them together,,otherwise i really cant wALK. my feet hurt to just walk on them.

my elbows r still going at it too..

also i hurt inside,all my organs all hurt. and i am nothappy inside,becausei feel so creepy

ola its sATUDAY im reaaaaaaaal lazy today
~ glad to have kelly around for a change! she has a new class starting,,accounting ICK,,boaaaaring but shes so smart and will get thru just fine no doubt!
ive been up and down with RA and my moods i mean i've been depressed then healed by god thru prayers from my neighbor judal,,aka judy shes so sweet,,she came over here to give me a plant and caught me just A balling on the front porch -tears just streaming,,i was in such pain and was waiting for the oxy to kickin,,she prayed for me and i was healed in the name of jesus// WHY WAS I BALLING???=i went way WAY past time,,, because i fell asleep,,and it always HURTS so bad to wake up especially if its past time for meds,,prednisone and oxy and darvon have been a constant survival technique that i'm worried now about the dependency of theze drugs -really its the the darvon im concerned about,,why? because my tolerance for them it WAY TO HIGHT thats it plain and simple- im smart,,I will figure out a plan -and decrease, until better ...

rheumatoid caught up with me // i've been super buzy trying to earn money---then while im not doing that,,, I'm recovering from all that activity of trying to earn money, its totally worn me out
my elbows and feet have been absolutely pain-full
infact i have my feet taped now (have been taped for 2 days now ) plus wearing thick socks and i stil hurt! and cant walk /// my left hip has been "deep" and unbearable,,ive been eatingthose darvons like crazy .i crashed out today,i came back here at 8.30am,,and tied up loose ends then slept allll day,, woke up at 3.30 pm UG! pulled myself together -went down-town at 4.20pm -got kelly- then she went to school,i messed around alitle then went back to bed - my elbows are really messing up,,,elvis is sooo sweet i just love that cat, hes so smart and why does he love feet so much,,LOL

police state time///IMO=POLICE BRUTALITY and its becoming MORE and MORE -they r being trained as military to subdue and detain,,treat us like animals like a heard of cattle,, with no emotions - damn natzis on steroids ..we r in for a real ride here in america,,i may6 have to move soon..i used to loikke america but now,,unless we gain controll over this police state and get these fucking crooks who are all swindling us big time OUT OF THE WHITE HOUSE!!!

i just bet George Washington ben franklin and jefferson are all rolling over in their grave with anger over what we have done to all our forefathers hard work....we soldout danmit,,soldout! week Americans who are dumbed down by the system ..dont know any better and have the odasity to roll their eyes when someone like Kerry Taser Incident....raw footage LOOK'

http://www.infowars.com/articles/ps/tasers_cops_taser_uf_student_raw_video.htm

hardcore,,wheew! really shows how they have "gained the ground" without us knowing,,

hello - i got a crazy idea and started a RA group in google,, kinda kool

http://groups.google.com/group/watchin_rheumatoid_arthritis
and heres a pic of me lately;



i feel weird and a change is comming,, i needtooo much sleep and kelly said increase the pred,,BUT i cant because this iswhat will hapen=
i increase by say,,oh,,5 miligrams,,ok thats 25. mg a day now,,(shit i did this a year ago and weabned myself down to 150 NOW back up to 25 MG AND I GO MENTALLLY INSANE (HATE PREDNISONE MENTAL EFFECTS ON ME) theni do OK for about a week,thenits right backto the same olsame ol,,,i NEEED more now,,more pred or more sleep,,it alwaays ends up like this, no matter what i do itcomesBACKHARDER onME -and i go thru hel,,im sotiredof all thast,i want a calm existance- not all this clamity and unsettled crazynesss,,(IHATERA) so thats why i wont go to 25 ml,its just no use,,the bad OUTweighs the good on that idea...