how i look, and feel right NOW........................notsogoood

omg=monday's post was awful w/ thast picture of my skin pealing open like a page from a book,,,,discustuting ICKY!grossmeout!!!-i have 4 shots of that "injury" and i cant stand to even look at them...,i have to have them b/c i must document whats all goiing on w/me. its either my bones breaking or skin pealing off or weird splits on my fingers,****noticed somptin=remember how I could NOT swallow???- i'd choke and choke and gag,,on the smallest of bites,,well,,all that has seemed todisappeared now,,thank GOD!- i have swallowed just fine= EVEN while eaing tacobuneo-bean and meat burreto-with Xtra cheeese and Xtra sour cream & mexi dip and chipspleassee!!!(total=$7.56 please pull up to the next window )which is the true test,,i always choked on taco buneo,,,always...its gone tho,,nurotin fix? who knows

WARNING: pictures of my injury= not for the faint hearted,,pics are very grapic,,i cant stand to see them,,but its the harsh reality,,i MUST face it, skin -is a issue and its scaring me -
POST=
well,,, i SAY nurotin is a good thing,,but now,,im not so sure,,im sleeepy all the time,,i did not blog this weekend b/c i was asleep the whole friggin time, and its monday i gotta go out to morton to schedule an appt w/dr Kusi,,and fill my nurotin prescript,,,,im sleepy and omg i have to stay going.......ug
im back with mission accomplished and OMG Morton- comprehensive health care for the pppl like me - is so damn great,, thank god i ended up out there,,where ppl actually care about your ass! i never realized i was getting such shitty medical service and all with attitude,,damn,,i was PAYING FoR THAT,, now god,,these pll actually care about me,,the actully know me there now- and treat me kindly - and i do seem to like that, they are very efficient too,,
im tried,,i took a Darvon,,id been out for days just no energy to go get um,,so i went "out- of -absolute ' NEED " this AM - im so damn tired now,,_OH i hurt my arm,,i very easily hurt myself BAD BAD bad,,i accidental just barely swiped it along the doorway and LOOK,,its hideous,,im a little worried,,now i have no skin,,what am i gonna DO? I'm scared about this,,i may have nightmares now about all my skin falling off or pealing off,,ICK =STOP!
pictures if you dont believe how think my skin is,,its not natural,,something is wrong,,

lucky- the second storm we escaped by a hair- closecall- feel real sorry for the "east"
of us -they are getting hit w/snow and tornadoes.......
today is sunny but cold-,,im exhausted now and its only 10.30..but ive been up from 5.30-must......go..........l a y down 4 now-......ZZzzzzzzz
Im back up,,i awoke at 1.30pm and feet were painful for at least an hour before normal set-in.
im out of it,i have bad ba splitz on alot of my finger tips and i thought if stay away from water on my hands it would help,,,nope - i get those splits n my finger tips nl matter what,
hell,,im gonna take a pic =

these splits will wake me up from a sound sleep middle of the nite,,i MUST get vasiline or some kind of oil on them - to stop the pain -they can reallly cause some serious pain- ive had these splits as long as RA ( i think its part of my RA somehow)

<- THE SKIN ON MY BODY IS so paper thin and delicate, that the slightest bump turns into what you see in these pictures of my forearms- i cant believe how its getting worse,its the prednisone,imsure,,right? im pleased we all are analyzing and this crazy RA and all... my issue is atophy and how i want to exersize but afraid of damage? to my hip area that is falling apart.... i weigh 112 pounds,,my NORMAL weight is 120,,b/c I'm 5'5" tall,, but shrinking now that i am getting older haha,,(46-ALMOST 50)
~THIS RA has been w/me for 6 full years now,, i know it by heart,,i can say this with most experenced confidence= heres the scoop on RA.... ITS a mystery,,its unpredictible-thats IT!
~ its unpredictible ~ and no telling what will trigger on a flare,,
ME= personally ive been in a flare with the diagnose,,, i mean,,i never ever had a unpainful day- (except ONE day in 6 yrs) i am always getting attacked every nite at sleep,,i do have very very active RA and im as "hyper"active as they come-i love to exercise and move and be limber,,but all i do is sleep / its all i feel like doing- ~i only have enuff energy to do about 4 hours of things then i have to lay down from -elbows -hips and -feet and -hands hurting and -spine (the occipital all down to shoulderblades area) ~i cant grip too tight on anything or my knuckles in my hands feel like they are getting squished ,OUCHY! ~i also must say,,this is the third month now w/out a DOT-come ON now!!! i'm way to young for menopause,, but i do believe thats whats going on here ..my moods are so delicate,,i cry over a commercial - or barack's speech's ,,sad but GLAD, no more tampons -they cost a fortune anyways,,and OH da pain of alllll those years of cramps,,,,,,gone,,bye bye,OK!. i think its why ive been real anxiious and weird lately- I AGREE w/the post/comment about needing to exercise-,i have a gazelle exerciser,,thats just propped up against the wall,,damn it,,im gonna have kelly help me get it standing up and by the TV and i will at least do the gazelle,,,its pretty safe,, (borrowed from friend jennifer when she offered cuz shes not using it) its actully pretty fun. i stay so buzy when i can-then i sleep so i can get going again,,,
i am sleeping 16 hours eery 24,,thats bad, but i cannot helpit or control it,,i just lay down and sleep,no matter what,,its unstoppible at 10.-11.00 am i shut down and i just have to go lay down untill about 3.00pm-so then i go thru all that pain again, waking up so i can run downtown to pickup kell,

<---me RIGHTNOW -not feeling a.ll good,,as i haveNOT feltreally very good for daze aND DAYS....my elbows HURT my feet HURT!why whywhy,,never stops,,,
MY nUROTIN PILLS ARESTILLGREAT,,THEY work great- no more burning sensation in hands and feet,,,NO RELIEF for my own ass tho,,how long have i said,,i cant sit onmy own ass? its been like about a year or so,,they(pelvic bones where legs go in,,,,are SO EFFING BAD,,this is why i have atophy there,,,, ive been paying attn to that areasands streach it and try to get limber,,but the pain tells me to stop,so,,im confussed,,dr said to exersise,,and ..well,,?im confussed,ohwell,,


wed,,trashday! 4bags today,,LOL (obsessed w/garbageday)

sunday=better, much better as in weather,,attitude and everything-i did sleep until 8.0 am =which i never do,,,late to take my pills ,,until noon or 1 pm i was dis-cumbobulated-funni word want to use it. im feeeling much better now tho,,our brother Tony stopped on by yesterday,,i should have taken pics- but we had to hurry, he needed to get on home---we made him stay for a while a sit in the" green chair" in the "bridge"-AKA computer room-hehe,, all this after i went out to shawnys to se the kids...bring Bday gift ,and get on home,,,i was so tired by say,,,5.00pm,
that my hips went outbad,,i could not walk after a while i HAD to go to bed,,i did,,i slept untilllate when Tony called and said"hey,im just down the st,,,whatcha doin?i said,,Come on by and see us!.got up and thats that,, we slpt like logs lert nite and about to go log out RIGHT NOW
10-40-over and Out! =\
back,,,,forgot,,,patches from 1 800 quitnow came YESTERDAY so i quit again,,yep,,,no biggy,, this is day 2 -

its saturday! and weather looks good,, nice and warm today,,kellys stillsleepin,i made coffeee ansd im back here to kill time - i dont think tony called last nite and that SUX ina Great big way,,,Ohwell,,heshould call today! went to bed late last nite BUT slept almost great,,,,wokeup a few x's\ IM UPi feelOK,,pillsarekickiin in,,,,(prednisone and davon)
today is gona sux ,,bc kellys in a BAD MOOD(about the fith time shes calledme a freak,,guess thats whatshe really thinks,,im gonna go open a BEER and drink it,,i dont even drink,really
here goes a perfect day, wasted. in tears.