this POST is called RA is ruining my effing LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


i dont understand what is goin'on with my world,,i am NOT the kind of person who causes touble or looks for trouble,,infact i DO MYBEST TO AVOID trouble (whos got time for it!)
look:
ive got RA and thats enuff Trouble for ME as a individual,,
i am so effing depressed,i cannot control kellys opinion of me,,when she askes me to do something like a task,,take care of something and i do it my way,,she gets all bent outta shape and thows a fit and i get to thinkin'im not doing something right or i just cant do anything right,,but THATS NOT TRUE as shes yelling i grow very very defensive, ,,shes yellin and all i want is calmness--not gonna happen....i have lost faith n myself ---
i get all defensive and hollar right back @ her,then its well,,we gotta get away from each otherand each time we argue and go against eachother it takes its toll an i cant get back to where i was icannot continueto hear how effing unresponsible or that im just using her,,or that i am not doing things right,,= its beatin me down badhump in the back of my neck are so soso inflaMMED andi have a broken heart b/c im disappointed in allof it,, i hear alot about just howbad i am,, i thnk itsenuff to make me wanna walkandkeep walking untill i fall over dead from walkin -i JUST ABSOLUTLY FEEL SO UNSTABLE AND SO HELPLESS and i have no friends at all,,,,,,im so behind with social skills i wont video myself anymore,,i hate seeingme I am just worn down - I dont even LOOK LIKE ME any more,,i want ME BACK -here am i ? i miss me, i wont do art (whichis my fav) im lettin plants just die- and im not eating very well either, i think im very very depressed beyond what ive ever known,,wheni look at pic ofme,,i can totaly se it,,its very scary - im scared and worried and all ive ever EVER EVER wanted was solid love and foundation --why is that so hard tohave>? WHY? why ..id really like to know,,,lifeis so tricky and awful now,i hate it-im NOT a happy girl. we go against each other way way to much,,itsNOT helping anything its NOT HEALTY -causes damage tothe trust factor and the
lets continue factor