me right now,,and im freeeeeezing,i gotta go lay down now,
yep i'm frozen solid -believe me i even have thermals on too.
my damn neck always hurts so badly,its enuff to drive ya insane.

ShamWOW...its Monday and time flies
me and mary wanted to hookup this weekend but couldnt -we talked about seeing our mom,,'
(for me it would be like ten years since Ive seen her,,scary)
gulp,,,change subject....
im using Firefox browser now because IE is jacked,,i dunno whats the issue,,i KNOW i have a virus deep in the boot sector of my other harddrive, no OS installed,just a 200 GIG hard drive full of all of my years of pictures and AVIS and other OLD stuff from years ago,,plus 200 gig allows me to shop for AVIS (torrents) and then burn and wipe it clean,,then find something else- i have so many movies i have not seen yet,,,,like Elizabeth the golden age,
(1 ofmyFAVORITE STYLE /era EVER!)
oh i was starting to watch the skeleton key,,i had to stop and wait for a better time,,but i knew it looked WAY GOOD (New Orleans style)
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things around here have calmed down now-and we feel OK ,but nervous about the future,in fact i am having BAD anxiety attacks right outta nowhere/I will burst out internally with a heat like feeling that sweeps thru my body and makes me sweat and feel like im gonna faint or throw right up. or is that what menopause does>? i do not know ..its all crazy and im exhausted right now,,ive been straightening the basement-for distraction-and it wiped me out plus im nervous.
i had to go thru seperation issues when kelly went to the store by herself,,cuz i was just way to
"gorea- pohobia'd out " i could not bear the thought of seeing people,,i get like that..its a scary feeling,,me and kelly BOTH get like that,,but she braved it and i felt so weird when she left,i felt like i was out on a limb,,i had to take a klonipin,,and it didnt even work -- just burried my head and rested while she ws gone and i paid attention to my feelings and why was i feeling that way,,,so scared and creepy and anxious and wanting kelly to cone right back --sompthings wrong with me.gulp,,im scared ans nervous. i just know its about the "separation" and being alone... i see attend the court in determining my future in weather i commit suiside or not on January 9th at 2.00 hearing,,,,,,,ohDa stress of it all,