hello,
i am up,,i fell last nite,,i feel down the basement stairs and it hurt my back myhand(L) and elbows hit the stairs to,sothey hurt,, that fall jiggeled up my organs,,,i mean they hurt, and i swelled up like a pregnat woman again....
i MUST photo this for proof..but to prove to who? who cares really?
"F" this.....i have bad attitude now -B-A-D.
so now everyone believes me when i said i dont think i feel OK w him....a;ll im saying here folks,,just ..i mean,,i know its just me,,but its so important to me and it is ll in the hand s of doctors who didnt know what to do to help me,,cuz they were not rheumatoligists...just
2 years ago---i complained --i bitched--i said i dont want him.
this is why,im left out here now to die from rheumatoid
had to edit,,bleepnig part- ,,we cant even afford to heat our house, we have two bahtrooms but in one-shower plummuing is jacked up we only get hot scolding water,,,we need a plummer,,,we need our car waterpump fixed,,we need love and support- we need friends we can talk to--we need underwear and socks for winter,---nevermind winter is almost over now-- we have both NEVER NEVER in 7 years,,we have never gone out ...its true,,we have never gone to dinner ,,weve beeen to the theater 2 x in seven years and i had frree passes-
we havent been to a party or had any real fun (we did go to the zoo 2 or 3 x tho)
we dont do that stuff cuz we cannot afford it,,im down to begging online for old clothes people no longer need,,so i get things that have a stain or missing something or too small buti wear it anyways i just dont get it,,god,,the more i type and think about it,,im wondering what the hell im even doing ,,,trying to live,,like,,,,"WHY? im just wasting time and space here,,ive nothing to contribute to make this better place,or me a better person,,i feel doomed and helpless and im so effing tired of getting yelled at and feeling like a dumbshit,,or inadiquite bump on alog thats dumb as a box of rocks---there,i said it,,now i have to go run a bath and act all happy,,cuz kellys getting up now, and i have to"do TODAY" I DONT WANT TO THO.
signed,
alone out there.