this is not me but shows nodules on old ladies elbows,shit! it looks real bad,,,,im scared because im getting this,,, what sux about it - is it hurts so badly to become this shape - aLOT of pain went into making these elbows! lemme tell ya! and I KNOW! alll about those elbow pains-sometimes ya wanna just cutoff yer arms,,I KNOW ive said it,,"forgod sakes just take my arms off please!!!!!!!!!!"when the pain gets to be so bad.

crazy kitten starbaby (gotta luv her)


yesterday-Sarah Palin made her first appearance on the Rush Limbaugh show on Tuesday, OMG how desparate can u get? rush is a freak -
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Yesterday i had a visit with dr. juju (i really really like her)i told her im tapering off the pred,down to 17mg...she said better if i do 5 mg..i read that online about tapering off prednison too,,
i am so sensitive to the prednisone im starting tomorrow down to 15mg and go from there,,,doctor juju said good ..she didn't like the skin on my arms either--- plus bones and teeth,,she insisted i take mega calcium-i told her i DO already,,and i do religiously ,, i take vitamin d and folic acid and whatever else is available...PREDNISONE has gotta be decreased ..it may help my depression as well,,i read online that years of prednisone can mess w/ your mind as well as your body! also she wants me to come back next month to see dr kusi for the klonipin,,my new prescription has 60 instead of 90 and i was NOT told anything about tapering off,,god knows i need those "Klonipin" pills or i just freak out "in-panic" over just anything..im just outta wack,,i sure wish i knew how i got this way,,/ im worried about them lowering my dose cuz those pills dont do much for me so i have to take 2- two of them- just to feel a little calmer and thats when i run out before the month is up,,scary situation! dependency again --i NEED to NOT 2be dependant on any pills actually when all this world falls apart and i cant get to any drugs ...........
(if McCAIN IS ELECTED) = i will suffer from no access to anything at all -,,this is why i am tapering off the prednisone NOW ....welll,,,,now i should taper off the klonipin too i guess,, i have enuff Klonipin's for now so im not to worried and i can ALWAYS "take it to the streets" if i have to" damn it!

had bad thoughts/dreamslast nite untill about 1.00 am -2.00am,,kept thinkin bout the doctors who jhave just completly blown me off now,,WHY >? i do everything they tell me to do-i try to be a good patient and just go along (i try to be a sport about it all),,BUT its all fucked now-its really haunting me about MORTON & doctor Kusi who i only had good trust for,,but now,,i dont fit his mold so to speak,,in other words,, the Neurotin is not agreeing with me at ALL,,,and he was pissed off or bothered,, that i want to discontinue NUROTIN MEDICINE used to treat = Neuropathic Pain.
------and what causes this ??? -------------
symptoms of neuropathic pain?
Neuropathic pain is a complex, chronic pain state that usually is accompanied by tissue injury. With neuropathic pain, the nerve fibers themselves may be damaged, dysfunctional or injured. These damaged nerve fibers send incorrect signals to other pain centers. The impact of nerve fiber injury includes a change in nerve function both at the site of injury and areas around the injury.
~side effects that I HAVE from NEUROTIN; Neuropathic Pain
Body as a Whole: Infrequent: chest pain, vision imapaired,
Respiratory System: Frequent:
dyspnea, which i had to look up= Dyspnea or dyspnoea (pronounced disp-nee-ah, IPA /dɪsp'niə/), shortness of breath or shortness of breath (SOB) is perceived to be difficulty of breathing or painful breathing. It is a common symptom of numerous medical disorders.
Dyspnea on exertion (DOE or exertional dyspnea) indicates dyspnea that occurs (or worsens) during physical activity.
OK NOW,this sounds aLOT like what IM calling"costo-congitus" real spelling is costochondritis, Rare: nasal obstruction,snoring,bronchospasm,hypoventilation,-kelly said i snore like shes NEVER heard
Special Senses:Infrequent: abnormal vision,ear pain, eye disorder taste perversion(wha?), deafness; Rare: eye pain,taste loss. Musculoskeletal: Infrequent: arthritis, arthralgia<-again had to look this UP=Arthralgia: Pain in the joints, OK great give the RA patient some medicine that will agatate my JOINTS~! god-i NEED a JOINT! after all this shit!
myalgia, arthrosis, leg cramps, myasthenia; Rare: shin bone pain, joint disorder, tendon disorder.
Nervous System: Frequent: confusion, depression; Infrequent: vertigo, nervousness, paresthesia, insomnia, neuropathy, libido decreased, anxiety, depersonalization, reflexes decreased, speech disorder, abnormal dreams, dysarthria, emotional lability, nystagmus, stupor, circumoral paresthesia, euphoria, hyperesthesia, hypokinesia, suicide attempt; Rare: agitation ...ohhh yea souhnds about like last week BEFORE i decreased the dose.
,,he claims all the facial swelling is PEDNISONE,,again WRONG DUDE this is NO effing prednisone and HOW EFFING LONG do i have to walk around holding my heart chest area for the pain of it all-????? WTF??/ this "costo" wont leave me at all,,i feel it get better, then sometimes its so bad i cant breaTH at all with OUT my Klonipin i dont know what id do - IT SCARES ME- KELLY'S ADVISE 4 today WHEN I DROVE HER TO WORK THIS am,,, (good advise fer sure):THINK POSITIVE AND PRAY FOR THE LORD TO LEAD ME 2 HELP- OR THE HELP TO FIND ME- EITHER WAY,,I FOUND A NODULE AND I HAVE TO LOOK IT UP NOW on the internet-,,(ON MY ELBOW RIGHT-SIDE)

BACK from looking UP NODULES OMG!!!!! look at this,,its all comming together NOW;
What are rheumatoid nodules?

As part of the rheumatoid process, firm, non-tender, subcutaneous nodules develop in about 25 percent of rheumatoid arthritis patients. These are commonly found at pressure points like the elbow,(HELLO!!!!!) back of the forearm, and metacarpophalangeal joint. Nodules usually occur in chronic active cases of rheumatoid arthritis, and are commonly associated with more joint deformity and serious extra-articular manifestations including lungs, eyes, and blood vessels. Nodules may vary in size during the course of the disease process, according to Raymond Federman, M.D.


Complications of rheumatoid nodules
Johns Hopkins claims complications of rheumatoid nodules include:
pain
limited joint mobility <-shit no good-
neuropathy <---THAT WORD AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!
ulceration <---wha?
fistula formation <----wha?
infection <----whatever!