i had to clean up that last post//go thru all my type-o's &dislexia-good 4 u Gloria- cant belive u were able to make any sense outta all thise mistakes-thanx for the email too!!the tooth is a BIG issue,,i saved this "wax stuff" from last time i had a issue with a tooth and this seems to be OK until i can get somewhere whith this - its the weekend and i had so many plans,,i had tony over yesterday -he is so effing sweet,,i swear to god hes such a a good person,,,he saved our ass by comming over here and looking at the buick,,its been running weird and we r scared to drive further then "walkin-distance".."it may break down at any second" i told him, So,,he comes straight over and takes the buick over to his house and fixes it then washed the engine that its so clean it looks NEW - he showed me everything he did, and i had to film it cuz i never can rememeber anything about cars and engines,,its all to boaring for me,but hes GIFTED and loves to mess with engines and wires - hell,, hes a grad from SPARTAN school of areonatics and hes been at the same job for like,,OMG twenty years maybe?? timeflys ..anyHOO he saved OUR BUTTS and we owe him,, dinner and beerr on sunday /Im going over to see mary and he wants to look at the spark plugs(his advise)sounds great cuz i miss my lil sistA sooo much! shes having a hard tiomne too ( tony said shes depressed also)shes so much like me,,we r almost twins, everyone always asked my mom if we were twins.
im"rambeling-on" OOhh-led zeppelin-great BAND-its a saturday morn,,i took a few pics of my tooth issue lets see how it looks on film ....

this is debi maddox calling ,please pick up,,damn,no one ever answrs the alien/UFO hotline....

its 6.00 now (AM that is) i do best in the mornings,i sit awhile then slowly launch into fast gear with my mind on 100 things i must do NOW so,,i wear myself out,, and wonder why im always in a flare,,i have felt better tho,,lately has not been super painful,, my meds all help alot and you learn how valuable they are when you DO NOT HAVE THEM!!!
OMG at about 4.00pm yesterday my tooth feel out - my tooth thats up front-,,i have a pic(embaressed to go anywhere now) i gotta find out why my optionos are i just want the tooth bonded back to look normal,,no crown,,fuck that shit,whos got athousdand dollars for that? if i had a grand id buy kelly a pair of sunglasses (she needs them so badly) and id buy me some make up and a haircut before a fuckiing thousand dolllar tooth went into my mouth,,
OK next on the blog-list is:
depression..can we talk? i have had no counceling for a LONG TIME i do have an appt comming up with a new shrink at family and children services -i need a session bad!!
i should create a bullit point list of a few things that i belive are at the bottom of my troubles..example' #1) CANT ASK FOR HELP - FIND IT REAL HARD TO ASK ANYONE FOR ANYTHING - ITS LIKE IM GONNA GET YELLED AT FOR ASKING,,-MUST BE A STAIN FROM CHILDHOOD AND MOM-ug!
kelly JUST woke UP,,gottago now to help her out

ive NOTICED a change,,its because i got my KLONIPIN BACK,,i have NOT abused it,,i took small quarters from a .05 ml. and felt the effects,,i am so soothed and feel 100percent in control&BETTER!!which is all i effing wanted-hate it when the doctors stand in yer way of feeling better,it seems so ass backwards,,doesnt it,,maybe its cuz im DISLEXIC and it just seems that way to me,,dunno,,what is realaity,,im stoned, i mean stumped,,Freudian slip hehee
MOVIE i MUST SEE = "a man who laughs" -1926-era,,looks incredible...

im upset this mornig-stressed to the MAX-this blogging is a waste of time,, does nothing for me or anyone else,,i swear,,i want to write certan things and cant,so why fucking bother,,forget it - and guess who feels like a worhtles- dislexic a-d-d and good for nothing- twisted up - painful -and never will be-
i stil have the pit (of doom) in my stomach
i recall that feeling from thwe past = and it when i discovered i was being lied to and cheated on by a 7 YEAR relationship- but i didnt realize that who i though loved me was lieing the whole time and had a girlfriend on the side for a LONG tmie,i left that relatonship after i found that out,,it made me sick ,,very sick,,i fell apart too,,
i feel like that this same feeling now thats all i can say

me and kelly are goig thru hell right now - we r very very stressed out over money and do ot know where money will come from, but we just have to have some,,we r starving to death and have no treatment for allergies OR my RA and insanity,SO basicly we r just living day to day - and trying to act like its all OK - hopefuly it will be,,it always has been in the past,,why would things just get worse while we try to keep up attitudes and apperances,,i am scared to death about the RA and its really shapeshifting my bones which is painfuly disapointing,,i keep thinkin im gonna get blessed w a healing from jesus - its just not my time yet i guess,,ive been mentaly struggling w/my depression, i try to make it go away but i have a deep-deep pit in my gut- im totaly afraid of seeing anybody-and i feel weird as hell,and like a effing misfit- i have felt this feeling before in my past i am blocking out what its connected to,,i cant recall anything-BUT i recognize this feeling BIGtime-WTF?
BUT WHAT REEEEEEEEEEEEEEALLY SCARES ME IS THIS:
Codex Alimentarius WARNING it starts december 31 2009
~The Codex Alimentarius is a threat to the freedom of people........
~The Codex Almentarius is a global cartel designed to hand over the control of natural remedies to the pharmaceutical giants.............................
this is part of the mess that is preventing me from getting medical help 4 rheumatiod THEY do not want me to buy a herb to help,,OHNO,,no money for BIG companies in herbs,,they cannot controll the herbs........
(anyone with a disease is going to be isolated and stomped out in the future-mark my words)
this has been going on for sometime,,if anyone doesnt know about this,,they should google this b/c its going to ruin our country and the lives as it is starting to happen already,,
The middle class will be deleted and only the rich(few) and POOR(all others)
will be left and the poor is all they want...WHY.. their money$$$ and labor will be for the rich ,,sort of like servants ,,like in the old days of history - the Illuminati wants to rule and we are all slaves only become more of a slave in the future under the police state we are seeing being implemented right NOW folks RIGHT NOW! i swear i think its all coming down to a crash! scary shit!

this is so effing cute it hurts,,,stop being so cute star-babyayeaye~im tryig this out its TECHnorati AND im going to install it to my blog now.
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