have not seen orbs lately,,today i see a orb 
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im soo sedated -slept hard,,had more nightmares -cant remember most of my dreams but i remember being scared in my dreams and running from something,,im under the influence of darvon so my neck and collar bone wont hurt too bad, i briefly woke up at 6.00 am to take my prednisone,,i went back to sleep until nine AM-that really helped,my neck stopped hurting so bad/that's the ONLY way i can keep RA under control is thru Xtra sleep and i hate that,,because im sleeping my life away,but ,i have to,,i have no choice,,i get 2 a point where i cant do anything and i must go lay down for about 3-4 hours.. now its 3.30..im just going w/the flow today,,im NOT going to get all worked UP by trying
control things that i have no power over,,but i say this,,im doing all i can to stay above water,,i want to JUST GO get a Job,,any ol job,,, but GDit....i cant very well do that,,unless a miracle happens-we eed our car fixed,,we need clothing,,we need food,,we need support,,we dont have ny of those things,,so it allgoes to kelly forher job - we put everything in to getting her to POE and with a lunch or at least money to eat lunch ...and at 4.30,,the day isover i pick her up and i feel soo much better after ive taken that nap,,
and if i do not nap,,i am so in pain that nite,,so i feel guilty sleepin around like that,,,,i mean all day ,,its so depressing - we gotta figure out what we r gonna do about this house,,we cant afford it anymore,,we cant make it,ive cut out all the extras,,i never ask for anything 4 me
i dont even have a decent pair of shoes to walk in OR slippers for walkin around,oh well,,ill come up with somehthing,, i hope...i am really sensing things,,change and im scared ,,we are not sure what to do,,but i feel the stress and i cant bare it- its to heavy - i cried the whole time at the new shrinks place,,she worked so hardto keep me in focus,i really could not control myself,,i just let it allout there,,then she kept lookin at the wall clock ,,so id stop what i was saying and ask,,
"what was the question again?"
hehe,,i was serious too,,i could not remember anything.
i was kind of embarressed as i left,i told her i was sorry,,and she saidNO ,,donot be sorry,,u were expressing yourself and nothing to be sorry about,,,,, good,,im glad.
control things that i have no power over,,but i say this,,im doing all i can to stay above water,,i want to JUST GO get a Job,,any ol job,,, but GDit....i cant very well do that,,unless a miracle happens-we eed our car fixed,,we need clothing,,we need food,,we need support,,we dont have ny of those things,,so it allgoes to kelly forher job - we put everything in to getting her to POE and with a lunch or at least money to eat lunch ...and at 4.30,,the day isover i pick her up and i feel soo much better after ive taken that nap,,
and if i do not nap,,i am so in pain that nite,,so i feel guilty sleepin around like that,,,,i mean all day ,,its so depressing - we gotta figure out what we r gonna do about this house,,we cant afford it anymore,,we cant make it,ive cut out all the extras,,i never ask for anything 4 me
i dont even have a decent pair of shoes to walk in OR slippers for walkin around,oh well,,ill come up with somehthing,, i hope...i am really sensing things,,change and im scared ,,we are not sure what to do,,but i feel the stress and i cant bare it- its to heavy - i cried the whole time at the new shrinks place,,she worked so hardto keep me in focus,i really could not control myself,,i just let it allout there,,then she kept lookin at the wall clock ,,so id stop what i was saying and ask,,
"what was the question again?"
hehe,,i was serious too,,i could not remember anything.
i was kind of embarressed as i left,i told her i was sorry,,and she saidNO ,,donot be sorry,,u were expressing yourself and nothing to be sorry about,,,,, good,,im glad.
good vibes for obama BAD VIBES for mCsame....
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