i wanted to love him,,buuuut,,,????

omgod,im soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo fustrated .i cant do anything becuze i canr see wanything,no,art,,no sewing, i only get hurt,mentally and physically,i get hurt trying to sew i cant see any thjing at all,,,
i want my life back now before i throw it all away,i cant handel the heat / i,m too hot all the time and if i am not hot im too cold with a wet feeling ,.,im squriming always, tying tohold my act together
i do think that this is the WORST year of my whole fucked up life,,i cant bare much, and im faLLING APART, AND HAVE TO not be like this when kell is hewre or it just oisses her off,,i cant express any fustration,i mu8st smile and be poliyte always,, its very hard when u feellleke a fucking failure,i cant see anything,,i cant get it fixed,,i got my turn down letter again and it said if i can blog i can work,,riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii ght,,does he know how long it took me to just see the keys and i cant even type a sentance with out the hell of looking at the effing words to se whats all backwards and wrong,,,,im so screwed ,,i mite as well just off the bridge,i cant dea,l,,i canrt deal imxcjnaesoufnqoeivkzljxc voiausgh-qivghboh AND I WONT BE VACK HERE TO LOG ANYMORE ABOUT MY LIFE THAT IS SO FUCKED- bye forever,,imnotfdoing this shit anymore,(tellim fustrated,,yep,i AM) i cant do anything ..i want my life back,, what is there for me-= NOTHING
i just deleteed the link to this blofg and i womntn be back anytime soon,,i gotta go out and find a job that i can do..im crying all day ,,and its nogood