i just woke up,,(fromnap) its 334 an i dont feel good at all,,my feet // my hands they alawys hurt heres what they are doing today,,(pain)

i should be thankfull i dont have cancer BUT IM NOT im fuckin pissed and heart broken why ME ME ME?? huh i cant draw i cant paint i cant difg my garden,,what the fuck did i DO? to deseve this? just answer that //damn im depressed//damnit damnit why cant i contorll this