today i feel heavy and my feet and neck really hurt

me and elvis ,,we r so funni - treat him like hes a person.

when i told kell about it all she felt so bad with me,,we didnt know what to do,,i threw it to the lord,,and kell called out there and they were so rude t o her,,they said,,well, of course our referrals oput to other doctors costs ,,of course,, " kell said no -one told us and hey,,thank alot fo r telling us what they were doing,,no call ,,no heads up to say,,we r referring you out,,, whats your status? im sure if i had $ 200.00 plus then i wouldn't be seeing a free doctor. id be payin a rheumatoigist ,,but we are greatful I MEAN GRATEFUL for the program we have found here with doctor whitte,,shes young and careing not over caring tho,,shes competent and i believe dr whitte wants to help,,shes not dealt w/ra in her young career,(shes only like 27-28)and shes a DOCTOR so shes by far intelligent and her bedside manner is fine,,-shes cool ,, the problem is her staff,,as we were to find out over a call to the head nurse of this program - she listened to what happened and understood about how un professional it is to talk about and make fun of a patient,(they did that the time w/kelly when i had RA in my jaw bone,and couldn't open my mouth and it attacked my gums),,IT actually DID ,every tooth in my bottom row HURT to the touch all down to the roots and bottom jaw bone its so weird, but i saw the dentist,& he said my jaw bone is deteriorating and he pulled a perfectly good BUT loose as all HELL-and thats where i went d-e-p-r-e-s-s-e-d-bigtime. the antibiotics cost 50 dollars!

so money,,not good,,health,,not good(still have the huge stain on my arm from 4-5 days ago injury) spirit fading , but its strong,,i feeel better already because i was scared to go today after kelly calling on the nurse out there,,but they assured me they will not know abut the call and all is top secret until a formal written complant is mad,IM IN NO HURRY cuz i cant look a gift horse in the mouth dangit,, im not buring my bridge...so dr whitte talked to meabout meth,,methotrexate,,she prescribed a low dose??,,pill form -no injections- and get bloodwork every month to monitor,,and if i am willing she is,,so i agreed,and i will re start pills of methotrexate,,

im nausea right now,,ug,,im going off to lay down my head is pounding , i still have so much to list.,,,later tho. i have to take that antibiotic,BIG WHITE AND expensive -- they make me nauseous

the doctors TRICKED me again, then they leme down hard!

i got a call from a rhematoligist,,they called as per doctor whittes request --

to set up a appt for me . JUNE 30th 2009-

i was crying from greatfulness, i thought GOD was taking over the situation for me.

i thought god sent this gift of medicine - BUT AT THE END OF THE CALL THEY SAID BRING MONEY & LOTS of it -,,LIKE $200.00 plus AND PAY OUT THE REST,NO FUCKING WAY,.,IM SORRY DO U THINK MONEY GROWS ON TREES ?????I HAVE NO MONEY!!!! I HAVE NOTHING-WHY WOULD YOU CALL AND TEASE ME LIKE that,,WHY WHY WHY? what the hell are they thinking,,im over here depresessed and hurting and well,,frankly im dieing,,,slow and agonizing death,,torcher from RA. and depression.

i had hope

then they ripped it all away,,

i may just lay down and die,,fuckem,,,i cant handel this evil and Uncaring America that i live in,,its NO VILLAGE HERE

these are all assholes and selfish and evil,,i want nothing to do w/ any KIND of evil,,soo that means i cant go to anymore doctors,,-! they only want you money and if you have more then a headache,,or diabetes whatever and or high blood pressure,,thats a "can fix it" OH but anything else,,OMG just inadequate as allll can be -- i love this technology age we live in,,BUT ive NEVER EVER seen so much division and hate as i do today,,, i wish i could have lived duing the 1950s

i NOTICED THIS;

~~~OUR FEDERAL BUILDING DOWNTOWN tulsa oklahoma DOESN'T HAVE BARACK'S PICTURE UP,,THEY R A BUNCH OF -KKK DOWN HERE RUNNING THINGS

OMG THEY WONT EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE THAT HE WoN FAIR AND SQUARE,,LIVE WITH IT,,AND HOW DARE THY JUDGE BY THE COLOR OF SKIN,,WHEN HES ALREADY PASSED BUSH (BOTH) BY FAR WITH DIPLOMACY AND ELEGANCE AND INTELLIGENCE,I LOVE BARACK OBAMA,,HES AWESOME--anyone got a problem with that>??

(SAW the speech for Islam and it was eloquent)

im not well,im super RA'd and just had two backteeth pulled and im dying now,,i cant type,i have to go lay down before i throw up.
the dds said my jaw showes issues andhe said my bones are deterorating and cant support my teeth uin a normal manner,im crying and upset,,im losingmy life day by day,,i will end it allif this gets worse i just spent all f kellys money on a deal i am soo upset about to begin with now,,i owe more then what im really worh,,i should just cancel this deal and wait to com e back as a worldly scholar and a famous artist. period

yep.

tuesday day Time AND IM soooooooooooooooooooooooo sleepy, and i feel that infection brewing up again,shit,,is only been 2?weeks? this infection will not let go,,i just called A NEW dentist,i go tomorrow at ten-thirty am.
im glad.
thanks to God for the lead in the dentist for cheap..i had to call alot of places and tell my story over the past few days,,trying to find a dds..i found the ONLTY one here for poor people,,all the charity is gone --that's usually a "republican" thing,,u know,,the ol,,"pick yer OWN ass up from your OWN bootstraps,its everyman for himself here",THATS WHY I CHANGED TO DEMOCRAT "it takes a village" and as my hero mahatma gandi said= "ME-WE"- AND ITS BEAUTIFUL,,YHWH Pi
prayer: dearest lord:I ONLY WISH THERE WAS NO SUCH THING AS GREED AND MONEY,,I WISH WE WERE ALL IN HEAVEN WHERE ALL IS ABUNDIT AND SADNESS IS NEVER.amen.

interesting fact: i was looking at a conspircy website,,(no reallly?) and i saw OUR VERY OWN ORAL ROBERTS as using the illuminitti in his arcetecture on our gold building here at 71st and lewis,,i live at 14th and about lewis, OH and heck,,i worked there for over three years a netscape witihall my cute little computer freaks,,they taught me everything i know,,about hacking and torrents and ripping ripping and networking and all about hardwar and the basic understanding of softwear installed or not,,and also they taught me hwow to fix and repair the SMTP and POP of all mail clients and online services like yahoo -
heres us at work then,,yrs around 1999-2000-2001- i was there when the planes hit NY towers,,i thought it was a joke at first- horrified to know it wasnt. gulp. still feel weird about that day and the events that happened. i thnk of it alot
OMG i just seached and FOUND THIS, about robert shuller the minister,,i liked him. wow,,the puzzel is getting more cokmplicated and the hole is DEEEEEP
hes a 33 degree mason,,thats up there,wow,,and its satanic,,my grandpa wa sa freemason in iowa,,and he belonged to the lodge there in riceville,iowa. love that town.

Thomas 5:
Jesus said, "Recognize what is in your sight, and that
which is hidden from you will become plain to you.
For there is nothing hidden which will not become manifest

about aliens crafts and how they travel,,here is some earthly science and it maybe what

they use..

Ferrofluid: Magnetic Liquid Technology

http://www.ferrotec.com/technology/ferrofluid/

hydrangeas blue and pink-they r taking forever to bloom.

they r watching mila walk by w/her yorkie and her cat.

good morning-- i slept like crap, im SO tired,i seem to have a hard time sleeping lately
i wake up all thru the night and every morn about 5.30..in such pain,,(all the medicine wore off while sleeping) OMG my neck has got to have something done,,but what do we do tho? hell if i know/ i can only take pain aids and pray im not gonna die,,u dont understand just how crazy you will become if u live in pain 24/7 and i am SO SO sick of taking all these PILLS!
ive noticed ORENCIA is in the news alot ..i wish i could try it,,it seems that it helps immune the h1n1 virus.. wow,, it s now 6.00am here and im waiting for the sun to rise so i can do my chemtrail check,,,i really should have taken pictures yesterday,,they were EVERYWHERE .. so we had 3 days of NO chemtrails and then bamb,,just as we thought we were cool,,here they were doing it alll night under the cover of darkness,,im sure thats the new protocol now,,because more and more ppl are taking pictures and reporting it,,and now the government officially acknowledges the dirty works and now they say "OK !!!OK!! WE R doing this in the sky BUT its weather control," ,RIGHT H.A.A.R.P. "angels dont play that haarp" (good documentary)
OH and i seem to have insomnia now,benedryls do not help at all. why cant i sleep,when i am soooo tired all the time????? i believe its a spray to keep us under control,,make us feel heavy and tired all the time,,allergies and headaches all come from the sky and air we r breathing,,

(they -TPB- want 2/3rds dead and gone)

---------

about our little pets all over the world:

A PET'S TEN COMMANDMENTS.........

1. My life is likely to last 10-15 years. Any separation from you is likely to be painful.

2. Give me time to understand what you want of me.

3. Place your trust in me. It is crucial for my well-being.

4. Don't be angry with me for long and don't lock me up as punishment. You have your work, your friends, your entertainment, but I have only you.

5. Talk to me. Even if I don't understand your words, I do understand your voice when speaking to me.

6. Be aware that however you treat me, I will never forget it.

7. Before you hit me, before you strike me, remember that I could hurt you, and yet, I choose not to bite you.

8. Before you scold me for being lazy or uncooperative, ask yourself if something might be bothering me. Perhaps I'm not getting the right food, I have been in the sun too long, or my heart might be getting old or weak.

9. Please take care of me when I grow old. You too, will grow old.

10. On the ultimate difficult journey, go with me please. Never say you can't bear to watch. Don't make me face this alone. Everything is easier for me if you are there, because I love you so.~Take a moment today to thank God for your pets. Enjoy and take good care of them. Life would be a much duller, less joyful experience without God's critters.

(TEAR- sniff ---omg i love animals soooooooo much.)

pray for St. Francis to watch over and protect them all.
baby's are precious
please donate to the humane society
https://secure.hsus.org/01/confrontcruelty_monthly

only thing i willeat now fruits and veggies
boo,hes sompthin else.

little baby sleepin

chemtrails in progress

i feel the chemtrails (not feelin/lookin to good)

i hurt my arm today,i barely touched the door and this happened.

just horricfic -its from the prednisone

i am sti;ll taking vitiman D faithfuly but i still have really weak skin .. god,,i hope i never have to fend for my life cuz i dont think i can,,(i do have surpising strenght when adrenilin is flowing tho)

kelly knows howt o grow everything,,we started a blackberry brush (with thorns and all)

and we have been workin hard in the yard,,, and whew i am not able t o take on the heat,,its only around 85-87? and i cant handel it,,im having sever hot-flashes,,i read where pednisone can mess w/ the cycle,,i ddunno,,i know im having hot-flashes thats ferher!

OUR HOUSE IS SO MUCH BETTER NOW,iswear,,i thnk this ol house is hiding all its potential,, i pray to lord for a plummer and my income to start soon,,i need it bad,,im hanging on by thin line

CHEMTRAILS started up again /heavy last night,just as dusk,,the Sky's were covered,and by the way it looked when the sun arose,,i saw OLD chemtrails,,that were thick as pie and just hanging everywhere,,all thru the horizon an i feel really anxious i feel really RA'd out,, and im swollen bad in hands and feet, neck and shoulders.

ive been so "unable this morning until this very moment,,im having sever nausea and hot flashes that wont go away ,,i woke up this morning at 5.30 am to stagger for pain aids,,my feet and hands will not stop with the radiating pain (RA) i cant walk to well,my joints in my feet are just no good,,i cant walk with out anything on my feet,im a barefoot girl too,,,its just not my style, this RA business.
so i am looking for a dentist now that can wok w/ me,,i have to get my old tooth pulled fromk my back,,and my prednisone makes my teeth chip so badly that i just MUST have some order restored in my mouth before i go crazy, i keep bitting my toung from where my crown fell off and the tooth is so sharp under there,,damnit its always something... im like a old car now,,everythings starting to go,,LOL! but its true,,even tho my mind thinks im only Ohh about thirty now,, i dont know about this growing up thing,,and how to do it,,i can only be myself and its a little immature,,but i NEVER would want to hurt anyone adn judge anyone or be evil in anyway,,i care about how i make ppl feel,,i enjoy happy times with all,,even when im crtynig and laying i8n the hospitial,,i still crck up the doctor an make kelly laff too,, im just a suilly girl,,and its just crazy that i have to see my body falling apart while i used to have it all under control,,and and i was so strong and healthy,,shit i feel like my insides hurt,(organs) and it makes me think im gonna die and i should make out my will,,, i must take time to think of all my people and (past and present) and make out some paper type will that ensures people i KNOW GET a peice of me after im gone,,i hope i come back as a happy kitten in a real nice house and all i do for twenty years is live- enjoy eat-streeeeech - play- sleep- catch a bug or two-
and watch the people who own me just spoil the crap outta me,,(like we do to star-e-and booboo) its calle KARMA, u get what you deserve,,,,that attitude keeps me good.
just look at her(star) hard life,