i remember this lil cute lil baby we saved..ohh how cute
http://www.dropshots.com/debrabmaddox#date/2006-09-05/23:09:16
she thinks shes hiding,,thats SO cute (she does this alot)




i slept soo much and i felt good BUT i realize today i have 2 see tracy the shink at nine am.
Im scared,im always scared to tt a shrink.cuz i they can see thru our clothes right down to our naked-ness,,and im embarrassed about my naked-ness,i AM!
i dont want to show that,,and thats probably my whole effing problem,,is not wanting to be ME-
i guess i just dont like me,,,,,,,,so sad.
i think im a spaz !
unable to pay attn. im a fool that needs way way more just a klonipin - i need ..? ...?
need..to be able to act and visit w/people calmly (not like the way i do,so hyper) I HATE HOW HYPER I AM,but one benefit is the high metabolism- has allowed me the pleasure of donuts donuts donuts,,,,and i didnt have 2 worrie about my weight,,in fact: i needed to gain some weight.
but now im 117 pounds nand have to stop right there ~NO more weight..or i wont have jeans to wear~
ABOUT THE RA:
my friend gloria who is working with RA and doing OK except she has RA in her EYES too--shes the only other person who has ever said anything about RA being in a weird place,..i say
i have RA in my eyes((((i told kelly i have RA in my eys a YEAR ago)))
but its not the same as g's RA in her eyes (she has a name for her eye condition)
i become very blurry and my vision goes to double ,,i see two of everything,,and all is so damn blurry - so i have 2 of things i have no idea whattheyare.....and i feel like my vision is better after alot of sleeep..i swear i have RA in my eyes! that just sux! ((oh and my lazy eye gets real bad when RA is attcking me)RA is so unpredictible,U just never know what the day is gonna be like,,am i OK or not? i get up take my meds,,i have backed off the darvon ALOT cuz i want to monitor the pain,,i cant tell whats goingon if im on darvon ,,, pain is a signal we must pay attn to,,,thats why we have pain -- its a warning,,an attn getter,,,ya know? so i must see just how bad my neck is/what my hands & FEET feel like.

OMG myneck is BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~after i took kelly to wrk i thougth how am i gonna make it to tracie's? my NECK is KILLING mE so badly , so i came back here,,t0 regroup and see what i was going todo,,i called in to tracie and rescheduled,,i cannot take this neck,,i am so worried about my hump on my neck (swelling of the bone/ spine area) i did a google search of hump on neck and i got" black eyed peas"(funni)
and i got this too,,,,
a duwagers hump,,i never heard of itbut ive seen it on older folks,(bless their hearts)
scary, im afraid of maleforming -its scaring me.
Neck Pain
Cause:
Inflammatory Diseases
The vertebral column.Rheumatoid arthritis can destroy joints in the neck and cause severe stiffness and pain. Rheumatoid arthritis typically occurs in the upper neck area.
OHBOI I JUS' KNEW IT!
http://orthoinfo.aaos.org/topic.cfm?topic=A00231

Cheney applauds Obama's choice of national security team this headline JUST gets me going because DUH! barack has an IQ UNlike the current president,,and i NEVER EVER respected the bush's to all him or his dad,president i call him/them bush,,((or freaks)and i am glad they thew a shoe at him,,those sandle slappin iraqi's are crazy!

also ID like to be the FIRST to say i ALREADY see people in politics who are speaking to crowds tring to emulate..OK COPY the presdsident elect barackobama ..they r using his
"let me be clear" line all the time,,i cant stand it .. total copycats and we hate copycats and SNITCHES too...damnit

hi,i need to blog,,its like blister that needs to be popped,, a itch to scratch, a fix, a must do or else!!! OMG im addicted to blogging,,i hate that word blog itt sounds like a thing you'd find in a swamp ,,or a garbage can. heheeeee im strange they say,,i know i am,,i freak my own self out continuously, i have been trying to see what i do all day ,how i spend my time,,and when i feel like i gotta lay down ..when why and what was i doing and thinking--before the i need to lay down -
i am trying to heal myself,,and if i dont pay attn. i cant do it.
i am going to make a promise to yoga/meditate each and everyday- it only takes a hour and it does so much good-
now i wanna write about my Tuesday session w/ my shrink (tracy)
shes nice, i like her, she is real good at keeping me on track- i cannot believe im seeing a shrink to begin with,,its sooo strange,but God has placed me on this path,,and i must face my demons NOW its time,,god is preparing me for something
i have to wake up spiritually and mentally or i will get left behind- i dont want to be left behind.
TODAY is a specail day, wheni came in here to wake up,,i found a note from kelly,,she wrote how much she is happy and feels like everything will be OK,,i feel like that too,,we r OK as long as we got each other...we r each others support and we got each others back,,,i have a very rare and unique beautiful friendship here and i believe it was formed thru God's blessing and its only become stronger and more of a "foundation" that i say i NEED ever so badly.thru talking to my6 shrink i realize now that i have learned how to pay attn to what i am doing, i never ever would want to hurt anyone or be cruel or just plain ol mean to anyone - including mean to myself.
now i gotta go gather up all my gold jewelry and send it to a place on TV thats gonna promise to send back money,,HAHAHA ,, that commercial gets me everytime..i laff at it,,what fools to send off gold in the friggen mail. ((((oh and i see they r trading guns for food ,,just like i read would happen as they try to de-arm us i read all the underground sites and they are always 2 steps ahead of mainstream)))
this lil tortious shell kitten i found serching in google-looks alot like our lil starbaby ---cute lil' face
star and elvis all cuddled up on this very cold afternoon and eve.
this pic shows the cute-ness of star's lil' profile 0h,shes Tooo cute!