nov 28-2006 /tuesday late.eve,,im tired from bringing in all the plants today(whew) and tonite kelly's ill, she does not feel well and has a slight fever,

all the plants are in, and that damn ficus is HUGE! Winter is comming Tomorrow- but im sitting here in a "wifebeater" and shorts

*winter here, is different then in Minnesota,,,Minnesota is just a longer time with winter-but not as damp-which does make the difference.

still keep thnkin bout the SSI doctor,,he was from bufffalo NY - he was grumpy too

today MON NOV 27th - ive been to the SSI doctor this afternoon and then it started to rain ,,,we came home to rest,,im so exhausted from a emotional sunday at my sisters,,with family, we(kelly and i) went over to her house for dinner- which was wonderful --and then some drama occured,,cant GET INTO THE DETAILS BUT,, IT ALL WAS FOR THE BEST ANDwoorked out fine. Nowwthen today= *doctor at 2.00 pm (ssi doctor ohhhhh scarrrry) * he asked allll kinds of Q's ,,i was nervous and not in a flair so he really did not get to see the me when im ina flair,,i pray for favor in this matter..

now we r home safe,we saw 3 or 4 car wrecks all the way home .....everyones driving like bats outta hell

im so tired / gonna watch a good movie (man hunter DVD?) and relax tonite,,again im so tired,,

today is sunday NOV 26th been awhile......................................................................

Saturday, November 18, 2006 is the last time ive been here,,,wow,,whats wrong?\im depressed and very much without energy

when i do have engergy i use it untill i drop - then go down(meaning sick w/ra) for a few days then alll over again...back to have energy, then use it for a day then be sick for three days,,

ive been cryingn alot, in the mornings,,it hurts again to walk, and my flesh is hurtimg i cant type even now fuckit,,ive got to go, just wanted to blog that my dreams are all nightmares and all i do is cry,,im not sure whas going on but i am afraid and and dont know what to do,,anywho fuckthis bye

nov 18 saturday cold but sunny -

hi,,i was just thinking,,then laughed out loud,, about the appt at the shinks office- the other day...
(still hyperfocused on that shink appt) she"the shrink" asked me to quickly name 2 things * that are CURRENT EVENTS, and happening right NOW,,,******
i- i - i THOUGHT i heard her say quickly,,i dont know if she did say quickly-but i felt the pressure.....
i spit out " the dems won the congress and the house and "murder in cap-cod" came to verdict,,,GUILTY and "did we get the right guy?" (from court TV today) ............
that was all...its allll i could think of,, (like what about WAR iraq- nucular brink at n koreas doing- and other NOW THINGS... PLUTO is NOT a PLANET they announced,,and other important things... dual core proccessor is no longer the buzz its multicore??or somehting -new processors...
back to that appt tho,........
I remember the next question "who was president during the civil.war?",,,OMG i said wodrow wilson,,LMAO!!!!!! i KNOW ....why did i say that???,,i was so embarrassed,,and i even cried - then,,cuz i could not think,,at all,,, she wote alot down,,OMG im soooooooo wondering what she wrote...(place debi in asylum)

its in the middle of a real cold night right now. i had to get up, I think i was dreaming about being under a microscope - i had some kindof bad dream- or it coulda been the pain from my splits again,but i hadto get up and come here and blog the fact that today was WEIRD

* i was very nervous from the begining because of my 2.00 pm appt. with a shrink.*

infact the appt. w/ a shirnk - and the paperwork that i had to fill out prior to the appt has been gut-wrenching (i cannot say how hard it was to answer the questions from a shrinks office and just be OK with everything,,, now i have 2 hives (itchy) so that means im stressed, so i will have to take a "anti anxiety and try to go back to bed....OH i see.....The Crop Circles show (discovery channel) is on now -how perfect

we rented a a car, (had to) .....................
went with kelly - we drove out to patsy's house today, had nice visit with her, she did alot of christmas shopping for kids that are needy, and their mothers are in prison,,she does this every year for the kids - but it was fun to see how cute kids things are today,,wow,,little boots and cute outfits galore! -some kids gonna be happy- and patsy enjoys getting things for the helpless.... i took lots of pictures today for the first time at her house,,here are a few shots.................below........

next.... shawny was over 2nite for kelly -to go to school- tonight.. i did this blog and messed around with all our plants ,,seems to be gettin too cold and i dont want to loose any plants out front- BUT the window wrap has helped! the help from kellys moms has proven to be true- we have wrapped windows with that plastic -"window wrap" and it has really really helped .. i remember last year,,i was soo sick during last winter,,and cold always.. i slept in gloves and scarf around my neck and a hat! it was truely cold last year and our bill was about 200.00 monthly thru the cold months,,so we hope to save this year by the window wraps -- what a boaring blog,,i just want superficial untill when-ever,,

im stressed because i go to that "appt tomarrow" im real scared,,dont wanna really do it- im so scared ill say something that will make her say OMG THIS girl is ,,crazy.,,(cuz i am,,i need to hide it tho_heheheee) im just diferent then most people,,i think different,, and dont act my age, not sure how I " do" on " first empressions" sooooo,, just wait and see ,,weird weird weird,,,all im sayin,.bye,,(im freaked out now)

its now tuesday nov andwe have lost or ever lovin minds to be sure..
we called about our honda,,its still not ready for us,,i tt the guy who is doing the work,he said the car wont be ready untill next week,,i went into full blown loose it mentally OMG ,,NO TELL ME NO<<<<<<,i doint know,,im SAD
im mad whatever
it doestn matter,,why i feel this waY--
its alllll about money,,and we dont have any and that the whole problem,, why dont we have any money,,we spent it all on on medical shit ok! now,,,find an answer someone or,,,im at a loss,,feel misrible