its thrusday AUG23-2007 ((((*HOT AUGUST NIGHT neil diamond double.set-great record*)))))angelCake went to school--im awake after feeling woosey and tired and swollen and sore alll day -i slept all day- The hi-light of 2day was @ 8.10am- when i filmed my journey home -camera pointed right at me, the way home from downtown (5 minuet ddrive),getting on the hiway and I HAD 2 just laught @ myself....

I laughed and thought "god,,no way i cannot place this on youtube"-or ppl wil just comment on how i cant drive or something mean - there are freeeeaks everywhere!!!! i swear,noone wants to be happy,,everyone wants to bitch and moan about how its alll going wrong and the world is fucked,,wellOK but lets at least have some fun,, a goodtime,,a laugh or hell,,just look out the window,,look at the SKY AND SMILE damnit! or i willl have to kill you

i did edit some of it,and uploaded to u.boob

taurus tee-says 420/wow!i never knew-Imwearingit

its PM now,,Ive been suffering from severe HIP(L) alllll day,,funny because kelly had awful hip pain all day yesterday,,then this morning i awoke with it -its still hurting after all day and im ready for sleep at 6.30PM wed eve,,im so tired that my eyes burn,,this has been going on*tiredness* for some time now, i thoought it was the medication,,all the pain pills OR klonipin?.05 mg *nothing too heavy* -ive cut so far back and im still SO SLEEEEEEPY so rul e out the meds as far as FULL RESPONSIBILITY for my groggy-ness--helll, its probably the RA itself,,ive read where it is a symptom,,tiredness -or unable to keep up with the day -YEP, thats me,,unable,,BUT i AM able to do other things,,with meditation and alittle support from kelly-cake -i have slowly gained enuff strength to look at where we are -and deal with it,,RA included,,deperession included,,no money included,,doesnt mean im settling ,, it just means im now able to aknowledge this situation and see what i can do to make things easy and happy and better here in this house that WE LOVE w/allll our hearts,,even tho its falling apart here and there-nothin we and HOMEDEPOT cant handel,,hehehehee.. we love housework,,LOVEIT!

hi im under the influence of PREDNISONE its awful,i beg for help,it makes your mind crazy and look how PUFFY i am,,did i sign up for this? hell no!


tuesday nite,,im Sooooooooooooooooooooooo tired, we ae barely making it,,im calling the city tomorrow about foodstamps,so we an have some food,,instead of depending on the kindness of other,,
at this point WE-NEED-HELP w/money its ll comming down,,the ripp off of the honda then all my medical shit,,and kellys so depressed BUT keeps her chin up and does a good job even tho she has the weight of the world on her,,bless her dear lord with riches and favor untill her last day on earth and may she represent heaven as well as dfoes represents christiananity here on earth,,that all just kinda came rambleing out like that,,whew,,OK then / next subjust,im soooo tired why why why,,i did NOT nap yesterday or today,,im trying to do away with naps,because its just so painfull to wake up - so id rathrjust be super grogggy andd sit here like a zombie ...i beg for help
" LordblessUsAllAndhurry!" - debra maddox 2007- VOTE $ RON PAUL or you cant be my friend

its sunday nite - im faddin fast -gotta just mention thst k's mom did it again...

she bought grocerys to us.

*unbeknownst to us.,..man, she has really saved our asses manyAtime*

hi heres what hurts
elbows (the number one issue)
FEET
hands
upper neck,between the shoulder blades
heres pics from saturday morning owcheee

please see U-tube for my activity for the day,,it is a drive to pick up cake,,aka Kelly at 11.00am. They shut the office due to heat,,and the AC is not working well enuff to keep all the ppl from sweating-she got off early and yipie,,the rest of the day was TOO HOT -105- to do anything outside (watered the plants) the cats slept all day and we just took it easy,,i have LOTS of videos from today,,i just ramble on,no sense in trying to figure meout cuz u cant- anyhoo,
the link to the videos i made today,
http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=itskellyanddeb -genreic to our page..then..
for the first part,,,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRiqdGrCI7g
here r some pics as i was in a GOOD mood because cake got off work early.

OH also heres a blessing,,kellys mom just went to the Gstore and bought all kinds of suppies and good food for us,,and as i look it all over,, she really focused on me and what i willeat,,ive been really loosing weight and unable to eat much,,,so all the food i see here is like,,stuff ill eat,,kelly did not think of her self she thought of me when he said " here r a few things we do need f your going to the store mom,," and said yoygart,,fruit bread frosted mini wheats,,kelly doesnt eat them,.,stawbwrry yourgart kelly doesnt depend on those - i do,,i live on them,,and its all for me,, LOOK

i feel like shit for past month or so...
my elbows are being attacked now,,this is a new area of intensity,,they have hurt in the past BUT nothing like this,,area under attack,,and nothing i can do,,sleep increase my prednisone daily more rest,,im still under extrem pain in my elblows,like never before.

I HAVE JUST SLEPT FOR 5 DAYS STRAIGHT -This does include the day afternoon eve and allllll nitetime long....the results are good,,i feell real good no bad pain in my FEET or elbows,,whatsbeen hurting lately....my feet hurt to just wak on them and i cannot wear shoes.

IM up thursady morning,,kellydoesnt feel welll,,i picked her up from wrk yesterday,,Looks like
" icka" is comming back,*(behind her ear) we started antiboiotics and put her to bed,, i slept all day and nite..i did not wake up every threr hours like i have been,,i slept allll the way thru,,because i took alot ..ALOT of benadryil to knock me out also darvon and my oxycodine which i swear i wish i could have more but my dr said NO! im doing 10 mg of Oxy in the morning then 10 mg in 12 hours,,and i have ben doing this religiously for over a year so ive become accustom to the OXY and i still feel the pain and think i need more pain meds ,,if there is ONE thing i HATE its pain,,,i used to be OK with pain,,but im just damn worn out from it,,,
here is a picture i took last nite when we got up and felt alittle stir crazy,,
we had the whole FAM DAMLY in bed --it was cute

wed aug 8th= hotter then hell outside now,,, hate this time of year,,it SUX everything is thirsty and hot and steamy and icky,,,,hate humidity -RA hates humidity.
im sittin here in the AM,,just got back from downtown,,E is wth me (sitting on the back of my chair right now im glad he appears to be back 2 normal)
i slept for 3 days and nights now
when i awoke at 6 this AM i felt a LIGHTER side of the RA iSTILL feel it in my ELBOWS FEET hands wrists but its not as intense because of the sleep,,ITS THE ONLY WAY TO HEAL.
i feel so guilty for sleeping tho- like i ma loooser..kelly said she is proud of me for giving myself a break and allowing my self to rest EVEN if its excessve,,im sleeping my life away- that REALLY JUST FLAT OUT SUX THE BIGONE

VOTE 4 RON PAUL
im so worried about elvis,hes acting weird,,like he doesnt feel good.,,now I KNOW he and scotty have been fighting over the loose cat in our hood that roams at night,,and taunts the,, they ge tso worked up and start to fught each other over that cat ?????weird--- they R brothes...& they have been fixed>>>>-> why r the acting like beasts,,
well,i fell asleep,,i had a dream,,it woke me up in horror my lil emachine was sixck and a doctor came to tell me he was dead,,i cried and cried,,i got outta bed to find e,,he was curled up underthe dinning room chair but he looks SAD! and i hugged him and got him down a wicker basket to cuddle up in,,i told him to come lay w/me in bed,,but he wants to be alone,,hes acting so weird,,i have to watch him close...i cant have a sick elvis presley,,OMG never! i love him so very. ( i even burned a CD that has birds flying and doing bird things for him to watch on TV ,,see if that helps,,)

FOLLOWUP::: the bird show helped,,E came back as i requested -he sat on the back of the leather chair and watched 1 hour of birds mating and breeding hahahha((david attenbourogh's "life of birds" 1998 parts 1-10 i have them burned for elvis -)) i went back to bed after knowing hes OK

today is monday -its 9.10 am,,ive been up from 6.00am and did all the house things helped kelly,made a luch-t0-go- and got posts ready for today,(doing joys shoes tody) at $20.00 (what the lord told me to price them at- i always use prayer and wait for the answer before i post)
im going to post then nap,cuz im reeeeeeeaaaaaalllll sssslleeeeeepy -i will come back to log
im back and its 3.05,i just woke up,,no appitite,only thirst and i have to go get kellly at 4.20p..
i need to get my head together
btw prayer works a lady is commming over at 6 to buy joys shoes for 20.00

see what i mean? ive been sittin here doing..nothin really for about 45 minuets,
i just woke right up...so weird how i just wake up like this,,my feet hurt.
now i am getting sleepy-but before, i was wide awake...i miss my cigarettes //// i used to go out when i wake up and go smoke a cigarette - its way HOT these days so going out is a bad idea for now,,its been real muggy and impossible to do anything outside....i'm so sleepy now, i must go back 2 bed...

i keep waking up every 3 hours,,its 1 37am right now,i come straight to my computer,,and check email every time i get up,,why? is there a email i could be expecting? or possibly someone that i love and write all the time (but i dont wanna bugem so i try NOT to write that much) but i just got here and in the middle of the night - just like all these other nites,,and now,,i think i know why!
its my dad,,he lives in minneapolis -bridge collapse- i wrote to ask if everyone was ok,,no word tho- never any word- (mary heard from them tho-how come i feel like im not part of ANY family)))/ why has he not emailed me back,i thought he loved me,,i then thought i was a burden to him ((now that im sick and all)) he has his family up there and they go alll over and have happy smiles and happy lives and health insurance and well,,new clothes too,,(i havent had a new clothing for over six years) my clothes all have holes in them. anyhoo,,i thought he was angry at me,,then i relized its me thats angry at me,,now,,about my dad,,i still do not understand,,
i just went back and checked all my sent folders,,i see ive blasted my dad with hellos and r u OKs? and pics of my lovely face,,,but nothin from him,, i hope they are not going to bulk,,noway,just lookin for excuse
it just tears me up to think hes disapointed in me,i hope he is nt,,but i thnk he is

another thing i noticed,,im not relaxed at all,,im unable to relax - its another reson why i wake up every three hours- i need a good tranquilizer if they make um any more?
i know the sleepmeds i use do not work at all = i still wake up after 3 benodryls and 2 hours into sleep,,i jump up,,why? i dunno ? im not relaxed